Friday, June 7, 2013

GOP men and their "War on Women"
SEN. SAXBY CHAMBLISS (R), GEORGIA's STATEMENT:  "The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23.  Gee whiz, that`s -- the level -- the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur."
Quote of the week in response: Jess McIntosh, Emily's List
 "Every once in a while Republicans forget that they are catastrophically bad about talking about these issues, and this weeks has been one of those weeks.  And you'd think they would have learned their lesson after 2012 when women voters turned by historic margins to support a Democrat."


Tuesday, May 28, 2013



Why Tim DeChristopher Went to Prison for His Protest

May 24, 2013
In December 2008, during the closing weeks of the Bush White House, 27-year-old environmental activist Tim DeChristopher went to protest the auction of gas and oil drilling rights to more than 150,000 acres of publicly-owned Utah wilderness. But instead of yelling slogans or waving a sign, DeChristopher disrupted the proceedings by starting to bid. Given an auction paddle designating him “Bidder 70”, DeChristopher won a dozen land leases worth nearly two million dollars. He was arrested for criminal fraud, found guilty, and sentenced to two years in federal prison — even though the new Obama Administration had since declared the oil and gas auction null and void.
DeChristopher — who was released less than a month ago — joins Bill to talk about the necessity of civil disobedience in the fight for justice, how his jury was ordered to place the strict letter of the law over moral conscience, and the future of the environmental movement.Bidder 70, a new documentary chronicling DeChristopher’s legal battle and activism, opened May 17. DeChristopher is co-founder of the grassroots environmental group Peaceful Uprising.
“When I went into this, I was pretty focused on the direct impacts of my actions, keeping that oil under those parcels and stopping this particular auction,” DeChristopher tells Bill. “I think those impacts turned out to be much more important than just keeping that oil in the ground.”
Producer: Jessica Wang. Editor: Sikay Tang. Associate Producer: Reniqua Allen.
Photographer: Dale Robbins.
Full Transcript:
http://billmoyers.com/segment/why-tim-dechristopher-went-to-prison-for-his-protest/

Thursday, March 14, 2013

PAC XIII: "God uses the good ones: The bad ones use God.*
by Thomas M. Kelly © 2013
*Davis Grubb, "Fools Parade"
SUPER  Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC" 
A series of ten + minute plays by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.
Wobble Heads on stage: Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell.
WHAMor:  (v.o.) 
Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the KWOS (Under Construction) politics of the day forum.   Yes, it's Word on the Street where sometimes the news is knowledgeable but most of the time... well, it's not.  Tonight is no exception.  Our guests tonight are Paul Ryan, Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum and Mitch McConnell: Whom the Democrats like to call the real "whack jobs or whackos of the Republican Party".  
(To the Green Room.)  Yo, Clint, please escort our guests into the studio.  You won't need your most powerful handgun in the western world.
(Enter wobbling Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell.)
Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell:  (In concert.)
Ted Cruz: At a minimum, in my judgment, Obamacare should not be funded!
Rick Santorum:  There is some low-hanging fruit!  We're learning to love Sequestration!
Paul Ryan:  Here's your copy of  “The Path to Prosperity”! I have one or two for everybody!  Need more?  Let me know.  
Ted Cruz:  Does the president have the power to authorize a drone strike against a U.S. citizen on U.S. soil, and without trial?!  
Mitch McConnell:  The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president. 
WHAMor:  (v.o.) 
Gentlemen... Gentlemen... (Surprised.)  Mr. Cantor, you were not invited on tonight's show.  We had you scheduled for a week from today.  
Eric Cantor:
I'm standing in for Rand Paul.  He's still recovering from his thirteen hour filibuster.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
That'll work!  Now, gentlemen, you were invited on our show knowing full well our modus operandi and the consequences of your appearance and decorum, rather your ... uh... behavior.  It is  not our intent to make fools of you.  You do that well enough on your own.  All we do is cruise the internet for material.  My first question is to you Mr. Ryan.
Paul Ryan:
Bring it on!
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
Senate Republicans supported legislation proposed by your freshman Senator Cruz to defund Obamacare — the 35th attempt, give or take, to abolish the program.  This one failed, like all the others.  Doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result, it has been said, defines insanity.  Why?  Mr. Ryan?  Why are you doing this?  The Supreme Court has upheld the legislation in an opinion written by the conservative chief justice, John Roberts.
Rick Santorum:
I can answer that for you, Paul.  We have a president who, for the first time in American history, is directly assaulting the First Amendment and freedom of religion.  He is going to tell you what to do in the practice of your faith.  He is forcing business people right now to do things that are against their conscience, that they will have to -- if you're a Catholic -- you’ll have to go to confession … to confess that you are complying with a government program that is a sin in the Catholic church.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
So you're saying ... .
Paul Ryan:
He's saying that as Catholics, Obamacare interferes with our freedom to exercise my religion.  
I say at a minimum, in my judgment, Obamacare should not be funded!  Regardless of what the Supremes say.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
You would defy the law.
Mitch McConnell:
The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.  By stopping Obama at every attempt to create his immortal legacy, we are achieving the true Republican..., the end justifies the means.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
What!  Morally wrong actions are sometimes necessary to achieve morally right outcomes!?  Are you saying...?  Am I hearing you correctly?  Actions can only be considered morally right by virtue of the morality of the outcome?
Eric Cantor:
What about Obama's drone policy... 
WHAMor:  (v.o.  Interrupting.)
I ask the questions on this show, Mr. Cantor.  
Eric Cantor:
It's House Majority Leader Representative Eric Cantor, ... .
WHAMor:  (v.o.  Interrupting.)
Whatever.  Senator Cruz, query:  Senate Democrats are mocking House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan's budget plan as "hocus pocus," charging it will actually either explode the deficit or heavily tax the middle class.  on.  Tax Policy Center analysis found the proposals of Mitt Romney and Ryan in the grand old humorous days of the presidential race that cutting top rates from 36 percent to 25 percent would add 4.5 trillion dollars more to the deficit.  Senator Cruz, how do you feel about Mr. Ryan's  “The Path to Prosperity”.
Mitch McConnell, Rick Santorum:  (In concert.)
I can answer that!  It's my turn, Ricky!
WHAMor:  (v.o.)  
But I asked Senator Cruz!
Mitch McConnell:
The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.  By stopping Obama at every attempt to create his immortal legacy, we are achieving the true Republican agenda.
Rick Santorum:
What a snob!  I am getting so sick of your repetitive inane response, Mitch.  Who ca... .
Paul Ryan:  (Interrupting.)
I have three certainties in my life -- death, taxes and liberal attacks from Paul Krugman.  It's something I've come to realize.  As a Keynesian, which is what Krugman would call himself, he believes in the constant pumping of the prime.  Just spending more money to grow the economy.  He believes that if you spend more money, it produces more than a dollar's worth of economic growth for every dollar you spend.
Ted Cruz:  (Hautily.) 
The moderator's statement and question were for me.  I may be a freshman, but I can answer for myself.  I'm with whatever Paul, what's-his-name said.  He's a Republican.  Wasn't he a nominee for Vice President with George Romney?
Eric Cantor:
Can we get back to Rand's Filibuster and the President's drones against us as American citizens?  I feel like I'm wasting my time here.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
I'm the director here, Mr. Cantor.  You just have to respond for Rand Paul.  You don't have an opinion or a topic of your own?
Ted Cruz:
Of course he does.  He's Senate minority leader.  You don't get to be Senate Minority leader without... .

Eric Cantor:  (Interrupting.)
Actually, Ted, I'm House Majority Leader.  We have a majority in the House of Representatives.  You're in the Senate.  You're in the minority up there.  I guess we don't talk much, huh?
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
I thought Mr. Holder cleared up that drone issue?  American citizen's as targets?
Ted Cruz: 
Actually, he didn't.  We don't believe him.  We think Mr. Obama has a different agenda and plan for us Republicans.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
Are you saying that Mr. Obama, given the nearest opportunity,  will be targeting Whacko Bird Republicans such as yourself?
Rick Santorum:
It would go against Catholic Church Doctrine to target Evangelist Republicans who may not believe that Allah is Almighty.
Paul Ryan:
You're even more whacko than that whack job, "victims of legitimate rape rarely get pregnant" Akin. 
Rick Santorum:
God will punish you!  You know, we believe that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness come from almighty God, not an almighty government ... and we believe that the Constitution is not a list of suggestions.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
Moving on gentlemen.  Mr. McConnell.  Query.
Mitch McConnell:
By stopping Obama at every attempt to create his immortal legacy, we are achieving the true Republican agenda.  The single most important thing we Republicans want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.
WHAMor:  (v.o.)
With that final comment, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our show Word on the Street for tonight.  From the studio of KWOS, where sometimes the news is knowledgeable but most of the time... well, it's not.  Tonight's show was no exception.
Good night and good intelligent news from some other station.
(Lights down.)
END

Thursday, February 28, 2013

PAC XII: "The Original Amateur Show"



by Seamus O'Shea © 2013
SUPER  
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC" 
A series of ten + minute plays by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.



Wobble Heads on stage: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, John Boehner, Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham, David Brooks, Michael Gerson, Peggy Noonan, Bob Woodward and Mitch McConnell.

WHAMor:  (v.o.)
Ladieeees aaaand Gentlemen!  Welcome to our show.  Tonight we had scheduled The NRA' s Lone Howler, Wayne La Pierre, but he cancelled due to illness,... we tried to enlist Ann Coulter prefers keeping her doctor's appointment.  We also scheduled Clint Eastwood with another skit, but the management cancelled him.  Tonight, unless time and circumstance change things we are featuring the Permanent Campaign Shimmy by Barack with a surprise guest, and The Suicide Stage Divers by Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.  Let's put 'em together for Barack and his Permanent Campaign Shimmy.
(Barack shimmies on stage to the music of "Mom Dancing"... http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Hq-URl9F17Y  )
Barack:
Here's the thing... this sequester and its cuts do not have to happen.  Congress can turn them off any time... with just a little bit of compromise.  I know that sometimes folks in Congress think that compromise is a bad word.  They figure they'll pay a higher price at the polls for working with the other side.  While you're in town folks, I hope you speak with your congressional delegation and remind them in no uncertain terms exactly what's at stake, exactly who is at risk.  Hey, WHAMor... What time is it?
WHAMor:
It's Howdy-doo... No.  Its almost midnight, Barack.
Barack:
Midnight!  I'm still working at midnight!?  This work, along with hundreds of thousands of jobs, are currently in jeopardy because of politics in Washington.   These cuts are wrong. They’re not smart.  They are not fair.  They are a self-inflicted wound that doesn’t have to happen.  It's time to party.  Where's my Michelle?  Already, the uncertainty around these cuts is having an effect.  Companies are starting to prepare for layoff notices.  The longer these cuts are in place, the greater the damage.
(Michelle shimmies on stage "Mom Dancing" alone: “the sprinkler,” "the dougie", “go shopping, get groceries,” “raise the roof,” "the hip bump" “happy snapper,” .)
(Barack continues.)
Hey!  Let's party, Michelle!
(They dance "shake your hip twice to the same side".... Then dance off stage to "driving the station wagon"..)
WHAMor:
Ladies and gentlemen Mr. and Mrs. Obama!  (Applause, applause, applause.)   Aaand now!  Won't you welcome The Suicide Stage Divers?  Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.
(Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor march in lock-step on stage roaring.)
Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor:
Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!  Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!  Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!
(They work themselves up into a frenzy of self-admiration.)
Johnny Boehner:  (To a rap.)
For sixteen months, sixteen months, / the president has been traveling all over the country / holding rallies instead of sitting down / with Senate leaders / in order to try to forge an agreement / over there in order to move a bill.  This work, along with hundreds of thousands of jobs, / are currently in jeopardy because of politics in Washington.  / These cuts are wrong. They’re not smart.  They are not fair.  /  They are a self-inflicted wound that will destroy.  
Paul Ryan:  (To a rap.)
It was the president who proposed the sequester, / it’s the president who designed the sequester.  
Johnny Boehner:
He has known for sixteen months / that this sequester was looming out there / when the super committee failed to come to an agreement.
Paul Ryan:
We think Obama’s sequester will happen / because the Democrats have opposed our efforts / to replace those cuts with others.  
Johnny Boehner:
We have moved a bill in the House twice. /  We should not have to move a third bill / before the Senate gets off their ass / and begins to do something.  Mr. Obama was off campaigning in Virginia to use our military men and women as a prop.
Paul Ryan:
Congress is not going to be able to avoid / the automatic cuts because Democrats refused to accept / Republicans’ proposal for smarter cuts / in other area of government.
WHAMor:
Congressman Ryan, if I may interrupt your performance... this has been a talking point for Republicans for a long time.  But let’s look at your own words, what you said right after the law putting the sequester in place was passed in August of 2011. . You said,  and I quote, sir, "What conservatives like me have been fighting for, for years are statutory caps on spending, literally legal caps in law that says government agencies cannot spend over a set amount of money and if they breach that amount across the board sequester comes in to cut that spending.  You can’t turn it out without a supermajority.  We got that into law.  Now, it sounds to me there like if you weren’t taking credit for the idea of the sequester, you were certainly suggesting it was a good idea.  Who, therefore, is responsible: you GOPers or Mr. Obama?
Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor:

Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!  Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!  Cut spending across the board!  We're learning to Love Sequestration!
(They work themselves up into a frenzy of self-admiration.)
Paul Ryan:
My district's Rock County Airport / is in desperate need of improving. /  Rock County began work on these improvements / but federal assistance is needed to address this immediate need. / These improvements are critical / not only to the local businesses in the district / but also to the local economy and the livelihood / of the employees who work at these businesses. / I would like Mr. Obama, therefore to fulfill his promise / of funding, by not cutting via sequester.  
Eric Cantor:
O MY!  GOD!  WHAT!  ARE!  YOU!  SAYING!  Ladies and gentlemen.  Ah' do not know these people.  Ah've have never seen them before.  O! MY!  Yehovah! 
Johnny Boehner, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor:
("They sprint across the stage and leap into what they imagine is the loving arms of their adoring fans.  When they are 4 feet off the ground, they realize the voters have left the building in disgust and they land with a thud on the floor." *) 
* http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/22/opinion/brooks-the-dc-dubstep.html?_r=0
WHAMor:
Ladies and gentlemen The Suicide Stage Divers!  (Applause, applause, applause.)  Aaand now!  Won't you welcome  The Angstered Kindergartnersun-supervised tonight, featuring David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, Michael Gerson and Bob Woodward
(David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, Michael Gerson and Bob Woodward walk on stage, take a deep bow together and begin speaking in unison, over-speaking each other as if performing in kindergarten.)
Bob Woodward:
First, months of White House dissembling further eroded any semblance of trust between Obama and congressional Republicans. (The Republicans are by no means blameless and have had their own episodes of denial and bald-faced message management.)
Second, Lew testified during his confirmation hearing that the Republicans would not go along with new revenue in the portion of the deficit-reduction plan that became the sequester. Reinforcing Lew’s point, a senior White House official said Friday, “The sequester was an option we were forced to take because the Republicans would not do tax increases.”  In fact, the final deal reached between Vice President Biden and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) in 2011 included an agreement that there would be no tax increases in the sequester in exchange for what the president was insisting on: an agreement that the nation’s debt ceiling would be increased for 18 months, so Obama would not have to go through another such negotiation in 2012, when he was running for reelection.  So when the president asks that a substitute for the sequester include not just spending cuts but also new revenue, he is moving the goal posts. His call for a balanced approach is reasonable, and he makes a strong case that those in the top income brackets could and should pay more. But that was not the deal he made.
David Brooks:
Democrats get to do the P.C. Shimmy.  Traditional presidents go through a normal set of motions: They identify a problem.  They come up with a proposal to address the problem.  They try to convince the country that their proposal is the best approach.  Under the Permanent Campaign Shimmy, the president identifies a problem.  Then he declines to come up with a proposal to address the problem.  Then he comes up with a vague-but-politically-convenient concept that doesn’t address the problem (let’s raise taxes on the rich).  Then he goes around the country blasting the opposition for not having as politically popular a concept.  Then he returns to Washington and congratulates himself for being the only serious and substantive person in town.  
Peggy Noonan:
The president's sequester strategy is like Howard Beale in "Network": "Woe is us. . . . And woe is us! We're in a lot of trouble!"  It is always cliffs, ceilings and looming catastrophes with Barack Obama. It is always government by freakout. That's what's happening now with the daily sequester warnings. Seven hundred thousand children will be dropped from Head Start. Six hundred thousand women and children will be dropped from aid programs.Meat won't be inspected. Seven thousand TSA workers will be laid off, customs workers too, and air traffic controllers. Lines at airports will be impossible. The Navy will slow down the building of an aircraft carrier. Troop readiness will be disrupted, weapons programs slowed or stalled, civilian contractors stiffed, uniformed first responders cut back. Our nuclear deterrent will be indefinitely suspended. Ha, made that one up, but give them time.  Mr. Obama has finally hit on his own version of national unity: Everyone get scared together.
Michael Gerson:

I don’t know whether to kill myself or to go bowling,” goes the old country song.  Official Washington has apparently decided to do both — permitting a self-destructive sequester while heading off on vacation, to bowl or maybe to golf.  For the historical record, all sides bear responsibility for this turn of events.  What President Obama now calls a “really bad idea” was generated by his own economic policy team. What Speaker John Boehner now refers to as a “meat ax” passed the House at his urging with 174 Republican votes.  All involved would protest that across-the-board cuts were only intended as the unthinkable alternative to a rational plan approved by the so-called super-committee.  “The sequester is ugly,” explained Boehner at the time, “Why?  Because we don’t want anybody to go there.  That’s why we have to succeed.”
Some Democrats see disproportionate defense reductions as a once-in-a-political-lifetime opportunity.  “You are not going to get another chance to cut the defense budget in the way that it needs to be cut,” salivates Howard Dean.  For others, it is an opportunity to apply blame to Republicans as TSA screening lines lengthen and meat quality inspectors are furloughed.
WHAMor:
Ladies and gentlemen The Angstered Kindergartners!  (Applause, applause, applause.)  (David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, Michael Gerson and Bob Woodward take a deep bow together and walk off stage as if performing in kindergarten.)
Aaand now!  Won't you welcome The Mindless Anti-Government Fanatics featuring Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham
(Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham mindlessly and aimlessly, as if without direction and supervision, amble on stage.)
There were fewer declared Republicans in the faculty at Harvard Law School when Mr. Obama and I  were there than Communists!  There was one Republican.  But there were twelve who would say they were Marxists who believed in the Communists overthrowing the United States government.  To understand what that means you have to understand that there were more self-declared communists on the Harvard faculty than there were Republicans.  Every single idea this president has proposed in the nine months he's been in office has been orthodox wisdom in the Harvard faculty lounge...
If you asked the Harvard faculty to vote on whether this nation should become a socialist nation, 80 percent of the faculty would vote yes and 10 percent would think that was too conservative.  President Obama was four years ahead of me at Harvard law school, and his entire philosophy embraces the elite academic world view that views government control, that view European socialism as something attractive, as a good direction for this country to go...
I think he very much bought into the prevailing wisdom.  Virtually every policy of the Obama administration is conventional wisdom in the faculty lounge at Harvard law school.  Obama was the most radical president ever to occupy the Oval Office.
Now on Chuck Hagel...  We saw with his nomination something truely extraordinary which is the government of Iran formally and publicly praising the nomination of a defense secretary.  I would suggest to you that to my knowledge that is unprecedented to see a foreign nation like Iran publically celebrating a nomination.  It may be that he spoke at radical or extreme groups or anti-Israel groups and accepted financial consideration... we don't know..., but it is the minimum relevance to know that that two-hundred dollars that he deposited in his bank account came directly from Saudi Arabia or came directly from North Korea.
I'm against having a king.  I think having a monarch is what we fought the American Revolution over and someone who wants to bypass the Constitution, bypass Congress -- that's someone who wants to act like a king or a monarch.  I've been opposed to executive orders, even with Republican presidents. But one that wants to infringe on the Second Amendment, we will fight tooth and nail.  And I promise you, there'll be no rock left unturned as far as trying to stop him from usurping the Constitution, running roughshod over Congress.  And you will see one heck of a debate if he decides to try to do this.  By the way, I'm thinking about running for President.
Lindsey Graham:
(Lindsey Graham falls all over himself in explosive laughter.  Ted Cruz, convulsing with laughter, and Rand Paul drag him off stage.)
WHAMor:
Ladies and gentlemen The Mindless Anti-Government Fanatics.   Won't you please welcome another fine Republican, a real toad of a guy, 
The Imperious One Mitch McConnell.
The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.  Let me repeat my self, the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.  
WHAMor:
That's the definition of insanity, Mitch!  Ladies and gentlemen, The Imperious One, Mitch McConnell.
(END)



Monday, February 4, 2013

PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir?

PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  Yes or no?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query.  Yes or no, sir."
by Seamus O'Shea © 2013
SUPER  
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC" 
A series of ten + minute plays by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.

(Wobble Heads on stage: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Mitch McConnell and John McCain.  As they are called forward, they wobble forth and back when dismissed.)



George Washington
George W. Bush!  Thomas Jefferson!  Will you please step forward!
George W. Bush
Dubya here...  Uh, Mr. Washington... Mr. Jefferson.  This is an honor, sirs.  What can I do fer ya'?
George Washington
Mr. Bush.  When you made this statement:  "We found the weapons of mass destruction and biological laboratories."  Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  Yes or no?
George W. Bush
Our intelligence sources...
Thomas Jefferson
Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
George W. Bush
... found two trailers found as evidence.  Iraq has got laboratories, mobile labs to build biological weapons. They're illegal. They're against the United Nations resolutions..
George Washington
We'll take that as a 'No', sir.
George W. Bush
... and we've so far discovered two.  And we'll find more weapons as time goes on.  But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them.
Thomas Jefferson
Mr. Bush.  When you made this statement:  "We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons -- the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have."  Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  Yes or no?
George W. Bush
Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving facilities...
George Washington
Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
George W. Bush
... that were used for the production of biological weapons
Thomas Jefferson
We'll take that as a 'No', sir.  Please step back sir.
George Washington
Donald Rumsfeld!
Thomas Jefferson
Will you please step forward!
Donald Rumsfeld
Donald Rumsfeld reporting as ordered, sirs.
Thomas Jefferson
Mr. Rumsfeld, when you made this statement:  "We still need to find and secure Iraq's weapons of mass destruction facilities and secure Iraq's borders so we can prevent the flow of weapons of mass destruction materials and senior regime officials out of the country."  Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
Donald Rumsfeld
We knew where they ...
George Washington
Were you correct or incorrect, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
Donald Rumsfeld
They were in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad.  Saddam’s removal is necessary to eradicate the threat from his weapons of mass destruction.
Thomas Jefferson
We'll take that as a 'No', sir.  Please step back sir.
George Washington
Richard Cheney!
Thomas Jefferson
Will you please step forward!
Dick Cheney
It is an honor to be here in your presence, gentlemen.
George Washington
Mr. Cheney, when you made this statement:  "Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction."  Did you know that statement to be a truth or an untruth, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
Dick Cheney
The hunt in Iraq for weapons of mass destruction and...
Thomas Jefferson
We'll take that as a 'No', sir.
Dick Cheney
... We knew there were ties between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein.
George Washington
Please step back sir. Mitch McConnell!
Thomas Jefferson
Will you please step forward!
Mitch McConnell
Sirs, I brought along a couple of cases of good ole' Kentucky Bourbon for you to enjoy.
George Washington
Mr. McConnell, did you made this statement:  “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Is that a true and correct quote, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.
Mitch McConnell
Our biggest goal for this year is to get this country straightened out and we can’t get this country...
Thomas Jefferson
Did you made the statement, sir?  Please be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Truthfully.
Mitch McConnell
... straightened out if we don’t do something about spending, about ...
Thomas Jefferson
Answer the query, Senator.  Did you make the statement?  Yes or no!
Mitch McConnell
... the deficit, about debt and get the economy moving again.  So our goal is to have a robust vibrant economy to benefit all Americans.
Thomas Jefferson
We'll take that as a 'Yes', sir.
George Washington
Why did you make that statement, sir?  Was it because you detested the fact that a black man could be sitting as your president?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir.  Yes or no, sir.
Mitch McConnell  (Backing up.)
I know y'all'll enjoy...
George Washington
Please step back sir.
Thomas Jefferson
Senator John McCain!  Will you please step forward!
John McCain
What is this a costume party?
George Washington
Senator McCain did you make this statement: "So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space – wasn’t he just there last week?"  Then you made reference to a news report: 'Iran launches monkey into space.' "  Is that a true and correct account of your statement, sir?  If you would be so kind as to answer the query  sir.  Yes or no, sir.  No equivocation, sir.
John McCain
Lighten up folks, can't everyone take a joke.
Thomas Jefferson
Did you then link your message to an on-line news story about Iran launching a "monkey" into space.  Is that a true and accurate account of your racist behavior, Senator?  Yes or no?  Please answer the query, Senator.
John McCain
I meant the comparison as a joke.
George Washington
A racist joke?
John McCain
Well, uh, uh....
Thomas Jefferson
We'll take that as a yes, Senator.  As a Republican presidential candidate in 2007, Senator, were you joking while giving a speech about the prospect of bombing Iran by singing to the tune of the Beach Boys song “Barbara Ann”  (George Washington and Thomas Jefferson harmonize.)  “Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb Iran".  Is this not evidence that you would be a reckless president?  Are we correct or incorrect, sir?  Yes or no?.  Please answer the query, Senator.
John McCain
You people have more respect for that terrorist "i'm-a-nutjob" than you do for American citizen heros like me!
George Washington
Yes or no?  Please answer the query, Senator.
John McCain
That's why liberalism is a disease, there is no cure....
Thomas Jefferson
May we quote you, Senator?
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