SUPER Political Action Comedy: PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir?

Monday, February 4, 2013

PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir?

PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir? Yes or no? If you would be so kind as to answer the query. Yes or no, sir."
by Seamus O'Shea © 2013
SUPER
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC"
A series of ten + minute plays by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.

(Wobble Heads on stage: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Mitch McConnell and John McCain. As they are called forward, they wobble forth and back when dismissed.)

George Washington

George W. Bush! Thomas Jefferson! Will you please step forward!

George W. Bush

Dubya here... Uh, Mr. Washington... Mr. Jefferson. This is an honor, sirs. What can I do fer ya'?

George Washington

Mr. Bush. When you made this statement: "We found the weapons of mass destruction and biological laboratories." Were you correct or incorrect, sir? Yes or no?

George W. Bush

Our intelligence sources...

Thomas Jefferson

Were you correct or incorrect, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

George W. Bush

... found two trailers found as evidence. Iraq has got laboratories, mobile labs to build biological weapons. They're illegal. They're against the United Nations resolutions..

George Washington

We'll take that as a 'No', sir.

George W. Bush

... and we've so far discovered two. And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them.

Thomas Jefferson

Mr. Bush. When you made this statement: "We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons -- the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have." Were you correct or incorrect, sir? Yes or no?

George W. Bush

Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving facilities...

George Washington

Were you correct or incorrect, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

George W. Bush

... that were used for the production of biological weapons

Thomas Jefferson

We'll take that as a 'No', sir. Please step back sir.

George Washington

Donald Rumsfeld!

Thomas Jefferson

Will you please step forward!

Donald Rumsfeld

Donald Rumsfeld reporting as ordered, sirs.

Thomas Jefferson

Mr. Rumsfeld, when you made this statement: "We still need to find and secure Iraq's weapons of mass destruction facilities and secure Iraq's borders so we can prevent the flow of weapons of mass destruction materials and senior regime officials out of the country." Were you correct or incorrect, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

Donald Rumsfeld

We knew where they ...

George Washington

Were you correct or incorrect, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

Donald Rumsfeld

They were in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad. Saddam’s removal is necessary to eradicate the threat from his weapons of mass destruction.

Thomas Jefferson

We'll take that as a 'No', sir. Please step back sir.

George Washington

Richard Cheney!

Thomas Jefferson

Will you please step forward!

Dick Cheney

It is an honor to be here in your presence, gentlemen.

George Washington

Mr. Cheney, when you made this statement: "Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction." Did you know that statement to be a truth or an untruth, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

Dick Cheney

The hunt in Iraq for weapons of mass destruction and...

Thomas Jefferson

We'll take that as a 'No', sir.

Dick Cheney

... We knew there were ties between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein.

George Washington

Please step back sir. Mitch McConnell!

Thomas Jefferson

Will you please step forward!

Mitch McConnell

Sirs, I brought along a couple of cases of good ole' Kentucky Bourbon for you to enjoy.

George Washington

Mr. McConnell, did you made this statement: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Is that a true and correct quote, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

Mitch McConnell

Our biggest goal for this year is to get this country straightened out and we can’t get this country...

Thomas Jefferson

Did you made the statement, sir? Please be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Truthfully.

Mitch McConnell

... straightened out if we don’t do something about spending, about ...

Thomas Jefferson

Answer the query, Senator. Did you make the statement? Yes or no!

Mitch McConnell

... the deficit, about debt and get the economy moving again. So our goal is to have a robust vibrant economy to benefit all Americans.

Thomas Jefferson

We'll take that as a 'Yes', sir.

George Washington

Why did you make that statement, sir? Was it because you detested the fact that a black man could be sitting as your president? If you would be so kind as to answer the query, sir. Yes or no, sir.

Mitch McConnell (Backing up.)

I know y'all'll enjoy...

George Washington

Please step back sir.

Thomas Jefferson

Senator John McCain! Will you please step forward!

John McCain

What is this a costume party?

George Washington

Senator McCain did you make this statement: "So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space – wasn’t he just there last week?" Then you made reference to a news report: 'Iran launches monkey into space.' " Is that a true and correct account of your statement, sir? If you would be so kind as to answer the query sir. Yes or no, sir. No equivocation, sir.

John McCain

Lighten up folks, can't everyone take a joke.

Thomas Jefferson

Did you then link your message to an on-line news story about Iran launching a "monkey" into space. Is that a true and accurate account of your racist behavior, Senator? Yes or no? Please answer the query, Senator.

John McCain

I meant the comparison as a joke.

George Washington

A racist joke?

John McCain

Well, uh, uh....

Thomas Jefferson

We'll take that as a yes, Senator. As a Republican presidential candidate in 2007, Senator, were you joking while giving a speech about the prospect of bombing Iran by singing to the tune of the Beach Boys song “Barbara Ann” (George Washington and Thomas Jefferson harmonize.) “Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb Iran". Is this not evidence that you would be a reckless president? Are we correct or incorrect, sir? Yes or no?. Please answer the query, Senator.

John McCain

You people have more respect for that terrorist "i'm-a-nutjob" than you do for American citizen heros like me!

George Washington

Yes or no? Please answer the query, Senator.

John McCain

That's why liberalism is a disease, there is no cure....

Thomas Jefferson

May we quote you, Senator?

(END)

No comments:

Mark Leibovich on Glitz and Greed in Washington

Bill talks with journalist Mark Leibovich about his latest book, This Town, a city where money rules the day and status is determined by who you know and what they can do for you. “If you can sell yourself as someone who knows how Washington works, someone who has these relationships,” Leibovich explains, “that’s a very marketable commodity. If you’re seen as someone who knows how this town works, someone who is a usual suspect in this town, you can dine out for years — that’s why no one leaves.”

In my humble opinion...

I have enjoyed being informed by Chris Matthews and MSNBC's "Hardball" for many years. He can be very excitable at times and irascible and petulant at others. Little did I realize that he could be an extremist tactician like the many 'extremists' he denounces. These extremists use the "search and destroy" method to totally obliterate someone or entity they oppose on some idealogical level. I was amazed when cruising my usual sources the other morning and Huffington Post being one of them, found this story "Phil Donahue On MSNBC Firing: Chris Matthews Was 'Threatened' By Me (VIDEO). 'Click on the icon above to link the video. I was appalled by Chris's use of the same "search and destroy" as the many "whacko nut jobs" he has denounced. Phil Donahue was a rare anti-war voice during the run-up to the Iraq War, among those voices was our President , then Senator, Barack Obama. Let me know what you think.

Readers and Writers

Thistle Dew Playwrights Workshop.......... Readers needed for Play Readings Saturday mornings at 10:00 If you would like to read new plays or if you have a play or monologue to be read and critiqued by the workshop, email Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com Prepare to bring sufficient copies for each of your characters + one for stage directions reader. Thistle Dew & Super PAC Auditions Saturday mornings at 10:00. We have created informative and highly successful 'blogs' to capture your interest and to tell you what is going on at the "Dew": The Thistle Dew Theatre: http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/ The Thistle Dew Center For Literary Art: Poetry and Narrative Inquiry: http://thistledewcenterforliteraryart.blogspot.com/ Social and Political Comment "Word on the Street": http://wordstreetsmarts.blogspot.com/ Super PAC: Political Action Comedy: http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/ Playwright Opportunities: http://californiaplaywrightstheirplays.blogspot.com/ The (almost) Complete Play Works of Thomas M. Kelly: http://thomasmkellyswork.blogspot.com/ NEW! Thistle Dew Theatre Playwright Workshop http://thistledewtheatreplaywrightgroup.blogspot.com/ "Click" on them and "voila", "ta-da" and "presto" there we are. If you have any problems give us a call 1-916-457-6286. Thanks, Tom and Ellie

Playwrights! You are invited to participate in creating....

SUPER

Political Action Comedy:

"SUPER PAC"

Please submit a ten minute play for this series:

Commenting on the politics of our times.

Topics: Political issues of the day from anywhere in the world.

Characters:

WHAMor: (v. o.) Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™.

Political figures of the day must be depicted as Wobble Heads.

Wobble Head Rules and restrictions: Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, back and forth, and turn in place by wobbling.

Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves. The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides with the exception of Wobble Head Clint Eastwood, (see "What's with the chair, Mr. Eastwood?" in older posts here.)

Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.

Set:

Black box. A storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.

Rules and regulations for submission and engagement:

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .
There is no fee for script submission and no compensation to the playwright for the use of a script submitted.
All rights will remain with the playwright.
The play must have been written by the person making the submission.
A play that has had a production is acceptable.
A play that has been published is not acceptable.
The submission should be sent by email, with the play itself as a file attached to the email, in Microsoft Word (.doc) or Apple (.pages) and (.pdf).
The script can be no longer than 10 minutes.
The title page must include script info and playwright info (your name), contact info (your email address).
The script should be in "Super PAC" format (see blog script).
Plays that are longer than ten (10) minutes will be rejected immediately.
Plays can be from anybody, anywhere in the world, but must be predominantly in English (a few non-English words and/or phrases are acceptable, however translations must be noted immediately).
The SUPER Political Action Comedy, "SUPER PAC" selection decision is final and "SUPER PAC" reserves the right to select no plays from those submitted.
The selected play will be posted on the blog as soon as "SUPER PAC" has made it's decision.
The play must reflect today's political, national or global environment (liberal, moderate or conservative) in humorous, comedic, satirical, sarcastic manner, using pastiche, mockery, burlesque, caricature, lampoon, et cetera, to expose the truth.
The play should be a complete ten (10) minute play, not an excerpt from a longer work.
Do not send your bio, résumé and list of theater achievements. "Super PAC" just wants the script in it's initial phase. If your script is selected, "Super PAC" will ask for your bio, résumé and list of theater credits.
Submission to "SUPER PAC" constitutes your permission to be posted on SUPER PAC: SUPER Political Action Comedy blog (http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .

Playwrights

If you would like to be a part of "Super PAC: Political Action Comedy" as a contributor or participant on this page or on the Thistle Dew Theatre Stage, please submit your ten to fifteen minute play to Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com . Requirements for every applicant. Find your own media headline or create your own one page (in play format) scenario such as Harry Reid vs. Mitch McConnel (the toad) or Hillary vs. Rush Limbaugh or Eric Cantor vs. Barack Obama in a situation found in the Washington Post, Mother Jones or Politico et cetera. Hope to hear from you soon.

Call for Submissions

The Unique

Thistle Dew

Dessert Theatre

and the members of

Sacramento's Original Playwright's Workshop:

1901 P Street, Sacramento, CA

Call for submissions:

Monologues & Poetry

for our "Poems, Pie and Prose Program".

We invite you to join the fun every Saturday morning at 10:00.

Because workshopping a play is not an easy process, we need your expertise and your many talented voices to create and organize

Writer's Workshop for

Playwrights, Poets, & Novelists.

Our Workshop is often defined by what it is not: It does not require script memorization, props, costumes, or sets. All of what it is "not" makes our workshop a wonderful experience for the actors/readers and especially the audience. Space and time can be shrunk or stretched, fantastic worlds can be created, marvelous journeys can be enacted. The Thistle Dew Playwright's Workshop provides a laboratory setting for writers, actors and audiences to explore the limits of the creative expression, presentation and interpretation of a unique art form: playwriting. Our Workshop frees the performers and the audience from the physical limitations of conventional theater, letting the imagination soar. By one definition our workshop is a discussion group. By another, it is a factory. According to most lexicons it is a process by which a dramatic or comedic play is read, and by means of improvisation and intensive group discussion, aspects of the production, are explored

before formal rehearsals and final staging begin. To accomplish this we need seasoned actors, voice over specialists and readers to read, critique and present our plays, poems, novels, et cetera. We have many dialogues requiring different voices, accents, et cetera.

We may even convince you that you can write a monologue or a poem!

Even a three minute play!

You could be a part of a fun group. Come, enjoy the magic of Theater in the making!

916-457-6286, or tddtheatre@aol.com

Thank you!

From Tom and the members of the

Thistle Dew Playwrights' Workshop

See you at the Thistle Dew Theatre, 1901 P Street, Downtown Sacramento,

Saturday morning at ten o'clock!

Check out the Thistle Dew Theatre Blog

http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/

SUPER Political Action Comedy

Pages

Monday, February 4, 2013

PAC XI: "Were you correct or incorrect, sir?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank You!