Sunday, December 30, 2012

PAC IX: "Can you imagine a $10.00 McDonald's Quarter-Pounder?"

PAC IX: "Can you imagine a $10.00 McDonald's Quarter-Pounder?"

by Thomas M. Kelly © 2012


SUPER  
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC" 

A series of ten + minute plays 
by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.


(Wobble Heads on stage.  Two women: Woman One is wearing a McDonald's uniform, and Woman Two a former Tree Hugger is neatly dressed & two men: Man One, Suit is well dressed; Man Two, Plumber, is in plumber's overalls.)

Suit
Excuse me miss, I saw your uniform, McDonald's is it?
McDonald's
Yes.  But I work two uniformed fast food jobs.  My other uniform is for Godfather's Pizza.  I just finished a six hour shift at Godfather's and I'm on my way to McDonald's for four hours flippin'....
Suit
... Ten hour day, aye?
McDonald's
Actually twelve to fourteen, depending on subway connections.
Plumber
Herman Cain was the CEO of Godfather's wasn't he?  Wasn't he also a Republican candidate for president?  Nine, nine...
McDonald's
... nine nine.
Suit
He was the fast-food industry lobby.  He and his cohorts used economic studies, to promote the idea that raising the minimum-wage would create job losses.  They believe that if you gave more to the top-earners it would...
McDonald's & Plumber
Trickle down...
Suit
... down to the workers.
Tree Hugger
Yep.  Ask my kids how far it trickled down.  I applied for food stamps last week.  They said... .
Suit
Ah, You make too much: the multiplier effect, you spend 100% of what you make.  Which means you will have to depend on government assistance, which is a drain on taxpayers.
McDonald's
Don't say just get another job.  I'm already working sixty hours a week.
Plumber
But, you could get...
McDonald's
Don't say get an education.  Unlike Romney, I don't have wealthy parents to borrow from.  Besides, when do I have time?  And if not from my parents, where do I get the money?
Suit
Do you know what the CEO of McDonald's made last year?
Tree Hugger
Much more than me, for sure, for sure.
Suit
Almost nine million dollars.
McDonald's
Between both jobs, I average about nine dollars an hour.  Do you mean to tell me I would have to work a million hours to earn that?  Before taxes?
Plumber
Yep.  He doesn't care about you or your family.
McDonald's
The issue isn't the CEO's paycheck.  The issue is our paycheck.  Raise the minimum wage so we can buy food and clothing for our kids.
Plumber
Get fast food workers out of the fast food business.  Make fast food employees scarce.  So scarce that McDonald's and Carl's Jr. and Taco Bell will have to pay them a living wage.  Something like fifteen or twenty dollars an hour.
Suit
At that rate, can you imagine a $10.00 McDonald's Quarter-Pounder?  It's not worth what they charge now.
Plumber
Shame on the CEO for making that kind of money.
Tree Hugger
The issue is that CEOs are making more and more money every year.  Workers at McDonald's or Godfather's aren't seeing any of that profit.  They in fact are making less.  It's built into their financial plan. 
McDonald's
Just getting a different job is a hell of a lot easier said than done.
Plumber
The state where I grew up, minimum wage is seven-forty an hour.  As a plumber's assistant I make just a couple bucks more than that, and I've been on the job for over a year.  I'm lucky if I clear seven - eight hundred a month.  I'm looking for a better, cleaner job right now, trust me, I'd love to have a new job, but after dozens of applications and resumes, I have yet to move on from my bottom-of-the-food-chain job.  I only took it to pay my rent and feed my kids, and now I'm stuck.  If you think it's really so easy, then you're a moron.
Suit
This is the problem, as I see it, well paid CEOs pay their workers so poorly that they force them to look for government assistance programs.  Then the well paid CEOs complain that there are to many entitlement programs in government.  How about we balance CEO and employee compensation?
Tree Hugger
Can you imagine how things would be if the Tea Partiers had their way and got rid of our government?  If you think paychecks are low now just imagine what they would be.  I'm not saying that the government is the solution... because they've allowed it to happened.  But something has'ta be done.
McDonald's
Nine million a year!  If he earns that, say, for the next 15 years... that's one hundred thirty-five million dollars plus yearly or quarterly raises, not including his retirement package which is likely valued in the multi-millions.
Plumber
I can't agree more.
Tree Hugger
I own a marketing and social media company.  I'm in love with all aspects of inbound marketing, search engine optimization and web design.  As such, I make a reasonably good living.  I'm single.  I'm also an avid hippie tree hugger and love everything about Barack's going green movement.  I enjoy talking to people with an open mind and heart.  Finally, there is a geek and nerd side of me that loves to game and hang out with my other geeky nerdy friends.
McDonald's
As a fast food worker I'll be the first to agree that most customer service jobs do not provide a good income that would allow anyone, single, married, with or without kids, to stand on their own.  Low wages makes them rely on the government for things such as healthcare, food stamps, et cetera.  If my kids get sick I take them to the emergency room at the hospital.
Plumber
We live in homes that we can barely afford.  We struggle to make ends meet.  If companies would pay their workers a little more, and $15 an hour isn't that far fetched, the need for government assistance would be a lot lower and people would be able to stand on their own.
McDonald's
When I got pregnant with my daughter, I made less than eleven thousand a year, and with my husband working the same type of job, we didn't even reach twenty-five a year.
Plumber
I have moved myself in the direction to get off the system, but it took a long struggle to get there and I'm still having to push, push, push.  Our baby is now 10.  The worst thing of it all is that my company doesn't allow me to make forty hours which would qualify me for benefits; healthcare, vacations... .  They keep us below full time hours so's that they don't have to give the employee anything.  Definitely a messed up system.  Companies should be mandated to pay a reasonable living wage as well as provide benefits.  Give the companies incentives to do this and maybe we can finally see our economy move in the right direction.
Tree Hugger
Not every job is skilled and worth fifteen dollars an hour.  Putting a frozen burger on a grill, flipping it and slapping it on a bun is not worth fifteen dollars an hour, sorry.  That's why people start with newspaper routes, then burger flipping, then maybe cashier, then assistant manager, then manager, then the sky is the limit.
McDonald's
I guess you haven't hit the glass ceiling, yet, huh?  If I, in my four hours at McDonald's, flipped four thousand, two dollar hamburgers, I would make McDonald's eight thousand dollars in four hours.  That's two thousand dollars an hour.  We do that every hour of every working day!
Tree Hugger
I'm sorry, but if the company you work for doesn't offer any room for growth, you're in the wrong company.  I don't know where you live but in most areas of the country if you're making less than twenty-five thousand dollars a year you shouldn't be having babies.  Sorry, it's harsh, but true.  I can't even imagine how you paid your rent and fed your children on that.
Plumber
The more you talk, the more I realize that you have lost all compassion, empathy... .  What happened to the tree hugging lover you claimed to be?  Do yourself a favor, Tree Hugger, shut up.
McDonald's
Have you ever worked in the service industry?  If you had you would know that it may not be a skilled job, but it isn't easy in the least bit.  Just dealing with the general public and not going postal is an amazing feat.
Plumber
Trust me, our daughter was far from planned.  But she has never gone without.  I made sure she had what she needed.  She is now a happy ten year old.
McDonald's
This isn't the cheapest area to live.  My basic point is, if companies like McDonald's, Carl's Jr., Burger King and Taco Bell paid their workers better wages, gave opportunities for increased pay and advancement and at least gave full time hours where the workers could get benefits, there would be less dependency on the government for help and more people could be able to stand on their own.
Suit
Instead, companies like McDonald's, under the mask of the government instability, do things like cut wages, work their employees only twelve hours in two weeks, make them work several jobs or work several locations and still can't even get forty hours while reaping humungous profits.
McDonald's
Tell me where that's fair?
Tree Hugger
McDonald's jobs are easy to get, ...
McDonald's
... but not so easy to do.
Tree Hugger
That is why they're great for gaining experience.  You get the job, learn skills and gain discipline, and either move up or move on.  There are fast food joints that pay well but those jobs are not easy to get.  They hire the best.  If McD's did the same, it would only mean fewer opportunities for those who lack the skills, experience, and education and need entry level jobs.
Suit
We always tell kids to stay in school so they can better themselves.  If we're going to pay uneducated, unskilled workers the same wage as some college graduates, why bother staying in school?
Tree Hugger
Yes, I've worked for minimum wage, and low wages without benefits.  I knew at the time I was paying my dues and as soon as I had been there 18 months, got a better job, then another one.  If you can't get promoted, the best thing for you to do is leave the dead-end job.
McDonald's
I had that good job, too, until the Bush and the Republicans came into power.  We, as a nation went from a surplus to a deficit, two credit card wars, a deep recession.  That job paid well over thirty dollars an hour, including fully paid medical and dental for my family, vacation, and many more perks.  Now after the Republicans sent us into bankruptcy, the subway topic is how McDonald's type businesses are the savior to the job market!  The average wage after taxes is one hundred fifty to six hundred a month.  How did I go from more than thirty dollars an hour to eight dollars?  That's on a par with third world countries.
Plumber
Am I the only person that remembers pink slime?  I assumed that it would make a difference in McDonald's profits.  What a short memory we have and we also have the ability to forgive our screwers for the royal screwing they gave and are still giving us.
Tree Hugger
If you cared about your health, you wouldn't have ever been eating there in the first place.
Suit
Corporate eateries don't care if all you can afford is to eat at McDonald's type restuarants every night, because there's a new kid in town, well actually, out of town.  They have a near limitless new middle class to make their corporate profits bulge, well in fact, a whole bunch of middle classes are burgeoning in India, China, Brazil to name a few.  For those of you who think "oh well,its not my problem",just remember every action has a reaction and there is always a trickle effect.
Plumber
I have friends with masters degrees, bachelor degrees and even JD's in the plumbing business.  They can't take jobs in their field because they don't pay enough to pay off their student debts.
Suit
When it is all said and done, do you really think that when there is only the extremely rich and the poor classes, like India, with its caste system, we will just accept it as our destiny.  Our Civil War was based on people's belief that they were better than some.  Imagine if there was a class war between the wealthy protecting themselves from the poor who were just trying to survive and feed their children.  I pray it never happens.
McDonald's
How did we get from my minimum wage to a caste system?
Loudspeaker  (v.o.)
Next stop Wall Street.  Catch this 'link' to what your state and federal lawmakers have in mind for you if the NRA gets it's way.

http://ideas.time.com/2012/12/21/cartoons-of-the-week-december-15-21/

Suit
My stop.
Tree Hugger
I get off here, too.
Suit
We should do lunch.
(Lights down.)
End

Saturday, December 15, 2012

PAC VIII: "I think it's time for a new il Papa."

PAC VIII: "I think it's time for a new il Papa."

by Thomas M. Kelly © 2012



SUPER  
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC" 
A series of ten + minute plays 
by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times: 

Characters:
WHAMor:  Wobble  Head  Assemblage &  Marketing  Creator  and Lord of the world of Political  Wobble Heads®™, il Papa Norquist (anti-tithing crusader), Bob Corker, Saxby Chambliss, Jeff Sessions, Lindsay Graham, Eric Cantor, Peter King and John McCain, and any such Wobble Heads as the establishment so chooses.
Wobble Head Rules:
Wobble Heads have labels "Made in China" on there backside.
Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, and turn in place by wobbling.
Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves.  The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides.
Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.
Set:
On a storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.

Grover Norquist, il Papa Norquist, has stated that the pledge is to the voters.  Yet when a candidate refuses to sign the pledge or violates it, it is Grover who uses his financial power to defeat them.  Visit www.groverno.org to join the coalition to support the brave people who have refused to play the Grover game.

(Wobble Heads® on stage: il Papa Norquist (anti-tithing crusader), Bob Corker, Saxby Chambliss, Jeff Sessions, Lindsay Graham, Eric Cantor, Peter King and John McCain.)
(Set: Storeroom shelf at the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.)

il Papa Norquist
Thinking something out loud is not a sin.  
Eric Cantor
Excuse me il Papa, but that doesn't make sense.  If that were the criteria, anything we think could be subject to dogmatic scrutiny.  You, your eminence, are only the Pope.  Not God, or the King or the President.  Only il Papa.
il Papa Norquist
It is political dogma that those who are loyal to me, and those Excremental others, who publicly think deeply about and speak at length to accept tithing increases on the wealthiest congregants may be guilty of thinking out loud "impure thoughts".  
Eric Cantor
To be committed to a dogmatic solemn vow or covenant when the possibility of endangering the future of our devoted community, our Ministry, is at risk, is kind of immature and puerile.
Bob Corker
There is a growing group of folks who are ... realizing that we who have endorsed your covenant don't have a lot of blessings as it relates to the tithing issue before year's end.
il Papa Norquist
All the advocates of a more generous Ministry hear is that you will vote for a tithing increase.  You vowed to oppose any efforts to boost tithing and to oppose any net reduction or elimination of deductions and credits, unless matched dollar for dollar by further reducing tithing rates.
Bob Corker
They will hear that I am honoring the oath I take when I serve.
Eric Cantor
When I go to my followers, it is not about that covenant.  It is really about trying to solve problems that our Ministry is facing.
il Papa Norquist
Those who have signed my covenant, hold leverage.  They have the power to hold up approval of a hike in the Ministry's borrowing limit - known as the debt ceiling.  I also have the power to hold up approval of the so-called Continuing Resolution that funds the Ministry.
Saxby Chambliss
I signed the covenant when the Ministry's debt was nowhere near its current 16 quadrillion dollar level.
Jeff Sessions
Oh, I signed it and, yes, I still supports its goals, but we've got to deal with the crisis we face.  We've got to deal with the reality of the opposition's victory.
Saxby Chambliss
Times have changed.  I care more about my country than I do about a 20-year-old covenant.  If we follow il Papa Norquist's way, then our Ministry will continue in debt.  I'm frankly not concerned about the il Papa Norquist covenant.
Lindsey Graham
I agree with il Papa Norquist, we shouldn't raise tithing rates.  But I think il Papa Norquist is wrong when it comes to whether we not capping debits and/or buy down the Ministry debt.
Peter King
I will violate the covenant — long story short — for the good of the Ministry.  A covenant I signed 18 years ago, 20 years ago, was for that Ministry.  The world has changed, and the Ministry's economic situation is different.
il Papa Norquist
When it is time to answer for their sins I will certainly highlight those who have kept their commitment and those who have not.  They will pay!
John McCain
The covenant is losing its clout.  Fewer and fewer people are signing this covenant.  If you think it strange to hear il Papa defend a two decades old ‘no-tithing’ covenant in the face of the Ministry’s fiscal dilemmas, you have to understand that il Papa Norquist's crusade is for extremely wealthy congregants, not your congregants.  
il Papa Norquist
My crusade is where extremely wealthy congregants spend their money (tax-free, of course) to keep me on retainer to prevent them from having to pay increased tithing.  I then use their secretly donated funds to either strong-arm or buy Ministers, and curry favor with the part of the congregation that think that Clint Eastwood is a political pundit.  I am not in the business of avoiding the budgetary escarpment of the Ministry.  I and the people whose interests I serve are only in favor of maintaining a status quo.  They contribute a smaller percentage year after year in tithing.  They’re well prepared for any economic crisis the country will face.
John McCain
Instead of increased tithing they pay you a seven or eight digit salary.
il Papa Norquist
Those who violate the covenant would not have the power they have  today if they hadn't made that commitment.  If they sin by violating the covenant, they are going to have to have a conversation with their congregants about keeping their word.  
Lindsey Graham
I think it's time for a new il Papa.
Eric Cantor
I'll second that.
(Lights down.)


Friday, December 7, 2012


PAC XII: "What does it take, Johnny?"
by Thomas M. Kelly © 2012

SUPER
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC"
A series of ten + minute plays 
by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times:
Before and after the 2012 Elections.

Characters: 
WHAMor:  Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™, Barack ObamaMitt Romney, Paul Ryan(where ever Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan wobble they wobble backward or side to side weaving and bobbing), Bill Clinton, Beebee Netanyahu, Bella Abzug, JFK, FDR, LBJ, HST, Sir Winston, Teddy Roosevelt, Sarah Palin, Hilary ClintonHarry Reid, Dickie Cheeeney, Joe Biden, Karl Rove, Anne Romney, Claire McCaskill, Clint Eastwood, Todd Akin, Gabriel Gomez, John Soltz, Rudy Giuliani, Stephanie Cutter, John Bolton, Reince Priebus, Jim DeMint, Bill Kristol, Donald Rumsfeld, John Huntsman, Liz Cheeeney, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. (Any such as the establishment so chooses.)
Premise:
Wobble Head Rules:
Wobble Heads have labels "Made in China" on there backside.
Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, and turn in place by wobbling.
Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves.  The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides.
Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.
Set:
On a storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.
No more than five actors on stage at one time.  All other Wobble Heads do not speak unless spoken to.


PAC XI: "What does it take, Johnny?" by Thomas M. Kelly © 2012

(Wobble Heads® on stage: John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi are standing in the semi-darkness.  They are worried.)
(Set: Storeroom shelf at the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.)

NANCY PELOSI:
What does it take, John?  Turn on the lights!  Get the message?  Democrats want to take a victory lap.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Any excuse for more taxes.  Huh?!  Turning on the lights requires more taxes.
NANCY PELOSI:
Nice job.  Ya' figured it out.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Given the fact that Mr. Obama is all about increasing the size of government and not economic growth, the economy will probably continue to stagnate. RBS and Bank of America are forecasting 1% GDP growth next year.
NANCY PELOSI:
At the Jack Kemp Dinner, Ryan and Rubio were working so hard at putting   Who misses dessert?  Why do you conservatives hold up Jack Kemp as some kind of great intellect?  The guy never did more than win a house seat, except for being appointed as Secretary of HUD. Big Deal!
JOHN BOEHNER:
He caught a lots of passes.
NANCY PELOSI:
John.  Jack Kemp was a Quarterback.
JOHN BOEHNER:
He co-founded the American Football League Players Association.  I know that.  For sure.
NANCY PELOSI:
It is very indicative of the depth of conservative intellectualism when the two "bright stars" of conservatism are Ronald Reagan, an actor in B movies, and Jack Kemp, whose greatest accomplishments came while getting his head smashed on a football field.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Yeah.  He did get sacked a few times.
NANCY PELOSI:
Oh yeah...they also mentioned Dubya, who has all of the intellectual horsepower, and even bears a strong resemblance to Alfred E. Newman!  Not very impressive credentials!  Republicans truly are the party of the stupid, and reality and truth challenged.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Actually held the record for most sacks.  That's defense for ya'.
NANCY PELOSI:
That's a no-brainer.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Look Nancy, Ms. Pelosi, you can call me names, and give us labels, but I"d call it being smart and paying attention to history.
NANCY PELOSI:
The party that doesn't believe in evolution and thinks corporations are people and dinosaurs co-existed with people, has itself become a dinosaur and is in serious danger of becoming extinct. 
JOHN BOEHNER:
I think it's about time the Democrat leadership got serious.
NANCY PELOSI:
The GOP needs to decide and it needs to decide soon if it wants to evolve or fossilize.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Tax cuts don't cause debt, spending too much causes debt.  Returning money to those who earned it isn't irresponsible, but spending more than reasonable income is irresponsible.
NANCY PELOSI:
Look, John, I get it.  But you lost the election.  Your multi-millionaire candidate lost for obvious reasons.  He was hiding something... HIS INCOME!  And now you want to give him more income?
JOHN BOEHNER:
Let's be reasonable, Nancy.
NANCY PELOSI:
Define reasonable.  There are a great many of "We the people" who believe the taxes at the top 2 % are unreasonably low.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Please be reasonable, Nancy.  I just canned some of the most conservative members from my panel... not because they are Tea Partiers mind you, but because their voting records were kinda' iffy.  It should lead to some sort of agreement ... Don't cha' think?
NANCY PELOSI:
The simple fact is the tea party was never honest with themselves or this country.  If you want to talk about debt you have to be honest about where it came from... Tax cuts, bailouts, wars, recession, aging population, health care costs, interest on debt.....most of which started way before 2009.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Fascinating.  I recall when you lost your control of the gavel because your liberal overreach and a tendency to be spendthrifts were slapped hard by voters.  I suspect you would blame the GOP extremism as the cause.  You Democrats need only press on with your unsustainable priorities.  Funny how only GOP losses come with encouragement to look inward to examine their collective conscience, but Democrat losses simply require patience.
NANCY PELOSI:
Encourage your boys, and your twenty girls, ... we have 53, John...
JOHN BOEHNER:
Twenty-four, Ms. Pelosi.  We have 24 this term.  Hope to have more next term.
NANCY PELOSI:
Encourage them to stay their nutty course.  They need to double down on gerrymandering & voter suppression.  That move did wonders for our team Obama.  Elections are terrific 2 by 4's and the Republicans are still trying to understand what just hit them!  
JOHN BOEHNER:
We got the message, but we are not going just bend over.  2 x 4s Can certainly be used to get someone's attention.  But also, they are framing materials.  The Republican Party recognizes them as such. We are going to build ourselves a new dwelling.  Noot that the one we have is in any way not usable, but perhaps a sounder foundation this time. . . .  I will be the first to admit... Tea bags don't work very well as a foundation.  Not that what they tried to do was the wrong approach...
NANCY PELOSI:
You're beginning to understand the effect the Tea Party had on the 2010 and 2012 elections, or what the future holds until you're able to discuss honestly who funded the Tea Party.  None of the money that drove it, the garbage scientific nonsense and bigotry that responded to it, or the right-wing media that inflated it has gone anywhere but out the door.  A party that calls college snobbish and can't remember further back than 2009 or thinks the world is 5000 years old is never going to be very bright.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Of course it's never ever Mr. Obama's fault!  We know that!  Must be nice inside that bubble, no cognitive dissonance there!  HUH!
NANCY PELOSI:
Now that you have opened the door, John, so to speak to cognitive dissonance, are you aware that your Congressional district has a median household income of $43,753 .  And that your neighbor Mitch McConnell's State of Kentucky has a median household income of $41,141 -- substantially lower than the national median household income of $50,502?  Kinda like Aesops "Fox and the Grapes".
JOHN BOEHNER:
I don't understand, Nancy.  Please enlighten me.
NANCY PELOSI:
Very well.  When the fox spies grapes growing high in a tree, but fails to reach the grapes, he decides that as hungry as he is and as tempting as they are he doesn't want them after all.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Not worth the effort, huh?
NANCY PELOSI:
No.  He is stopped by the tree's height.  The farmer is a wise ass.  He  plants his vines in the shade of the tree to grow to a height that the fox can't reach even on his tippy-toes.
JOHN BOEHNER:
Smart farmer.
NANCY PELOSI:
You and McConnell are the wise ass farmers.  You keep your constituents barefoot, pregnant, if need be, and down on the farm or on the edge of town far away from opportunities, forcing them to exist by sucking on the federal teat.  Your two red states -- Ohio and Kentucky - take more in welfare "gifts" than you contribute in revenue.
JOHN BOEHNER:
That's not fair Nancy.  We are in what is commonly known as the "Rust Belt"
NANCY PELOSI:
Ah, cut the crap, Johnny.  It's time to pull your fingers out of Goober's pie to get re-elected, and you so-called 'leaders' start representing your people not Romney's 2%.
END



The plays, posted here, are available for production.  You may present these plays royalty free, but only with permission of Thomas M. Kelly, in writing.  No performance of his or Seamus O'Shea's plays without first notifying Thomas M. Kelly or Seamus O'Shea.  The play(s) may be produced, performed or read, before an audience, whether an admission fee is charged or not in a community theatre setting.  The above is with the exception of professional theatres:   Professional productions must receive a Professional Royalty Quote from Thomas M. Kelly at tddtheatre@aol.com  OR   Seamus O'Shea at  seamus.oshea@ymail.com  .