PAC IX: "Can you imagine a $10.00 McDonald's Quarter-Pounder?"
by Thomas M. Kelly © 2012
SUPER
Political Action Comedy
"SUPER PAC"
A series of ten + minute plays
by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.
Comments on the politics of the times.
(Wobble Heads on stage. Two women: Woman One is wearing a McDonald's uniform, and Woman Two a former Tree Hugger is neatly dressed & two men: Man One, Suit is well dressed; Man Two, Plumber, is in plumber's overalls.)
Suit
Excuse me miss, I saw your uniform, McDonald's is it?
McDonald's
Yes. But I work two uniformed fast food jobs. My other uniform is for Godfather's Pizza. I just finished a six hour shift at Godfather's and I'm on my way to McDonald's for four hours flippin'....
Suit
... Ten hour day, aye?
McDonald's
Actually twelve to fourteen, depending on subway connections.
Plumber
Herman Cain was the CEO of Godfather's wasn't he? Wasn't he also a Republican candidate for president? Nine, nine...
McDonald's
... nine nine.
Suit
He was the fast-food industry lobby. He and his cohorts used economic studies, to promote the idea that raising the minimum-wage would create job losses. They believe that if you gave more to the top-earners it would...
McDonald's & Plumber
Trickle down...
Suit
... down to the workers.
Tree Hugger
Yep. Ask my kids how far it trickled down. I applied for food stamps last week. They said... .
Suit
Ah, You make too much: the multiplier effect, you spend 100% of what you make. Which means you will have to depend on government assistance, which is a drain on taxpayers.
McDonald's
Don't say just get another job. I'm already working sixty hours a week.
Plumber
But, you could get...
McDonald's
Don't say get an education. Unlike Romney, I don't have wealthy parents to borrow from. Besides, when do I have time? And if not from my parents, where do I get the money?
Suit
Do you know what the CEO of McDonald's made last year?
Tree Hugger
Much more than me, for sure, for sure.
Suit
Almost nine million dollars.
McDonald's
Between both jobs, I average about nine dollars an hour. Do you mean to tell me I would have to work a million hours to earn that? Before taxes?
Plumber
Yep. He doesn't care about you or your family.
McDonald's
The issue isn't the CEO's paycheck. The issue is our paycheck. Raise the minimum wage so we can buy food and clothing for our kids.
Plumber
Get fast food workers out of the fast food business. Make fast food employees scarce. So scarce that McDonald's and Carl's Jr. and Taco Bell will have to pay them a living wage. Something like fifteen or twenty dollars an hour.
Suit
At that rate, can you imagine a $10.00 McDonald's Quarter-Pounder? It's not worth what they charge now.
Plumber
Shame on the CEO for making that kind of money.
Tree Hugger
The issue is that CEOs are making more and more money every year. Workers at McDonald's or Godfather's aren't seeing any of that profit. They in fact are making less. It's built into their financial plan.
McDonald's
Just getting a different job is a hell of a lot easier said than done.
Plumber
The state where I grew up, minimum wage is seven-forty an hour. As a plumber's assistant I make just a couple bucks more than that, and I've been on the job for over a year. I'm lucky if I clear seven - eight hundred a month. I'm looking for a better, cleaner job right now, trust me, I'd love to have a new job, but after dozens of applications and resumes, I have yet to move on from my bottom-of-the-food-chain job. I only took it to pay my rent and feed my kids, and now I'm stuck. If you think it's really so easy, then you're a moron.
Suit
This is the problem, as I see it, well paid CEOs pay their workers so poorly that they force them to look for government assistance programs. Then the well paid CEOs complain that there are to many entitlement programs in government. How about we balance CEO and employee compensation?
Tree Hugger
Can you imagine how things would be if the Tea Partiers had their way and got rid of our government? If you think paychecks are low now just imagine what they would be. I'm not saying that the government is the solution... because they've allowed it to happened. But something has'ta be done.
McDonald's
Nine million a year! If he earns that, say, for the next 15 years... that's one hundred thirty-five million dollars plus yearly or quarterly raises, not including his retirement package which is likely valued in the multi-millions.
Plumber
I can't agree more.
Tree Hugger
I own a marketing and social media company. I'm in love with all aspects of inbound marketing, search engine optimization and web design. As such, I make a reasonably good living. I'm single. I'm also an avid hippie tree hugger and love everything about Barack's going green movement. I enjoy talking to people with an open mind and heart. Finally, there is a geek and nerd side of me that loves to game and hang out with my other geeky nerdy friends.
McDonald's
As a fast food worker I'll be the first to agree that most customer service jobs do not provide a good income that would allow anyone, single, married, with or without kids, to stand on their own. Low wages makes them rely on the government for things such as healthcare, food stamps, et cetera. If my kids get sick I take them to the emergency room at the hospital.
Plumber
We live in homes that we can barely afford. We struggle to make ends meet. If companies would pay their workers a little more, and $15 an hour isn't that far fetched, the need for government assistance would be a lot lower and people would be able to stand on their own.
McDonald's
When I got pregnant with my daughter, I made less than eleven thousand a year, and with my husband working the same type of job, we didn't even reach twenty-five a year.
Plumber
I have moved myself in the direction to get off the system, but it took a long struggle to get there and I'm still having to push, push, push. Our baby is now 10. The worst thing of it all is that my company doesn't allow me to make forty hours which would qualify me for benefits; healthcare, vacations... . They keep us below full time hours so's that they don't have to give the employee anything. Definitely a messed up system. Companies should be mandated to pay a reasonable living wage as well as provide benefits. Give the companies incentives to do this and maybe we can finally see our economy move in the right direction.
Tree Hugger
Not every job is skilled and worth fifteen dollars an hour. Putting a frozen burger on a grill, flipping it and slapping it on a bun is not worth fifteen dollars an hour, sorry. That's why people start with newspaper routes, then burger flipping, then maybe cashier, then assistant manager, then manager, then the sky is the limit.
McDonald's
I guess you haven't hit the glass ceiling, yet, huh? If I, in my four hours at McDonald's, flipped four thousand, two dollar hamburgers, I would make McDonald's eight thousand dollars in four hours. That's two thousand dollars an hour. We do that every hour of every working day!
Tree Hugger
I'm sorry, but if the company you work for doesn't offer any room for growth, you're in the wrong company. I don't know where you live but in most areas of the country if you're making less than twenty-five thousand dollars a year you shouldn't be having babies. Sorry, it's harsh, but true. I can't even imagine how you paid your rent and fed your children on that.
Plumber
The more you talk, the more I realize that you have lost all compassion, empathy... . What happened to the tree hugging lover you claimed to be? Do yourself a favor, Tree Hugger, shut up.
McDonald's
Have you ever worked in the service industry? If you had you would know that it may not be a skilled job, but it isn't easy in the least bit. Just dealing with the general public and not going postal is an amazing feat.
Plumber
Trust me, our daughter was far from planned. But she has never gone without. I made sure she had what she needed. She is now a happy ten year old.
McDonald's
This isn't the cheapest area to live. My basic point is, if companies like McDonald's, Carl's Jr., Burger King and Taco Bell paid their workers better wages, gave opportunities for increased pay and advancement and at least gave full time hours where the workers could get benefits, there would be less dependency on the government for help and more people could be able to stand on their own.
Suit
Instead, companies like McDonald's, under the mask of the government instability, do things like cut wages, work their employees only twelve hours in two weeks, make them work several jobs or work several locations and still can't even get forty hours while reaping humungous profits.
McDonald's
Tell me where that's fair?
Tree Hugger
McDonald's jobs are easy to get, ...
McDonald's
... but not so easy to do.
Tree Hugger
That is why they're great for gaining experience. You get the job, learn skills and gain discipline, and either move up or move on. There are fast food joints that pay well but those jobs are not easy to get. They hire the best. If McD's did the same, it would only mean fewer opportunities for those who lack the skills, experience, and education and need entry level jobs.
Suit
We always tell kids to stay in school so they can better themselves. If we're going to pay uneducated, unskilled workers the same wage as some college graduates, why bother staying in school?
Tree Hugger
Yes, I've worked for minimum wage, and low wages without benefits. I knew at the time I was paying my dues and as soon as I had been there 18 months, got a better job, then another one. If you can't get promoted, the best thing for you to do is leave the dead-end job.
McDonald's
I had that good job, too, until the Bush and the Republicans came into power. We, as a nation went from a surplus to a deficit, two credit card wars, a deep recession. That job paid well over thirty dollars an hour, including fully paid medical and dental for my family, vacation, and many more perks. Now after the Republicans sent us into bankruptcy, the subway topic is how McDonald's type businesses are the savior to the job market! The average wage after taxes is one hundred fifty to six hundred a month. How did I go from more than thirty dollars an hour to eight dollars? That's on a par with third world countries.
Plumber
Am I the only person that remembers pink slime? I assumed that it would make a difference in McDonald's profits. What a short memory we have and we also have the ability to forgive our screwers for the royal screwing they gave and are still giving us.
Tree Hugger
If you cared about your health, you wouldn't have ever been eating there in the first place.
Suit
Corporate eateries don't care if all you can afford is to eat at McDonald's type restuarants every night, because there's a new kid in town, well actually, out of town. They have a near limitless new middle class to make their corporate profits bulge, well in fact, a whole bunch of middle classes are burgeoning in India, China, Brazil to name a few. For those of you who think "oh well,its not my problem",just remember every action has a reaction and there is always a trickle effect.
Plumber
I have friends with masters degrees, bachelor degrees and even JD's in the plumbing business. They can't take jobs in their field because they don't pay enough to pay off their student debts.
Suit
When it is all said and done, do you really think that when there is only the extremely rich and the poor classes, like India, with its caste system, we will just accept it as our destiny. Our Civil War was based on people's belief that they were better than some. Imagine if there was a class war between the wealthy protecting themselves from the poor who were just trying to survive and feed their children. I pray it never happens.
McDonald's
How did we get from my minimum wage to a caste system?
Loudspeaker (v.o.)
Next stop Wall Street. Catch this 'link' to what your state and federal lawmakers have in mind for you if the NRA gets it's way.
http://ideas.time.com/2012/12/21/cartoons-of-the-week-december-15-21/
Suit
My stop.
Tree Hugger
I get off here, too.
Suit
We should do lunch.
(Lights down.)
End
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