SUPER Political Action Comedy

Sunday, November 11, 2012

PAC X: "Where's our money, Karl?!"

SUPER

Political Action Comedy

"SUPER PAC"

A series of ten + minute plays

by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.

Comments on the politics of the times:

Before and after the 2012 Elections.

Characters:

WHAMor: Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan(where ever Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan wobble they wobble backward or side to side weaving and bobbing), Bill Clinton, Beebee Netanyahu, Bella Abzug, JFK, FDR, LBJ, HST, Sir Winston, Teddy Roosevelt, Sarah Palin, Hilary Clinton, Harry Reid, Dickie Cheeeney, Joe Biden, Karl Rove, Anne Romney, Claire McCaskill, Clint Eastwood, Todd Akin. Gabriel Gomez, John Soltz, Rudy Giuliani, Stephanie Cutter, John Bolton, Reince Priebus, Jim DeMint, Bill Kristol, Donald Rumsfeld, John Huntsman, Liz Cheeeney, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. (Any such as the establishment so chooses.)
Premise:
Wobble Head Rules:
Wobble Heads have labels "Made in China" on there backside.
Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, and turn in place by wobbling.
Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves. The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides.
Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.
Set:
On a storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.
No more than five actors on stage at one time. All other Wobble Heads do not speak unless spoken to.

(Wobble Heads® on stage: The Koch Brothers, David and Charles, and Karl Rove. Karl Rove is standing blindfolded with his hands and feet bound.)

(Set: Storeroom shelf at the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.)

David Koch

We're only going to ask once Karl. Where's our money?!

Charles Koch

You said you'd get Mitt Romney elected, take back the Senate and keep the house Republican. You created the model for outside money groups that raised and spent more than $1 billion on the Nov. 6 elections. We saw almost no return for their money. We alone put 400 million dollars in your American Crossroads Organization account. Where's our money?!

Karl Rove

I ... We... Crossroads ran into some roadblocks.

David Koch

We're meeting other Crossroads donors here. They'll be here by'n'by. An boy are they pissed! A billion dollars, Karl! Folks like Brent Bozell, president of For America, metals magnate Harold Simmons, $19.5 million Karl, Texas homebuilder Bob Perry, $7.5 million and Omni hotel chief Robert Rowling, $5 million. They're gonna want their money back, Karl.

Charles Koch

Obama raised a billion a dollar at a time. David, we should tell him that "The Donald"... is coming to formally "fire" him. Ha! Ha! You've proven money can't buy happiness, nor can big money buy an election. We'll invest our money someplace else. Like Africa! China! Any place we can find cheap labor.

David Koch

You made a lot of money for political consultant friends and TV stations. You're gonna' return our money. Are'n't ya', Karl?

Charles Koch

Schumer had you pegged right. If Crossroads were a business, and you were the CEO, you’d be fired for getting a poor return on your investment. One point three percent Karl! We didn't get much return on our investment, Karl. This is a business, Karl. Six of the eight GOP Senate candidates that American Crossroads spent money to elect lost their races: Todd Akin in Missouri, Tommy Thompson in Wisconsin, George Allen in Virginia, Josh Mandel in Ohio, Richard Mourdock in Indiana and Denny Rehberg in Montana..., along with the Mittster.

(Enter Brent Bozell.)

Brent Bozell

Just the man I want to see. As the founder and president of the Media Research Center, the Conservative Communications Center, I want to say one thing, then you fellas' can do with him whatever you see fit. Right now there is stunned disbelief that Republicans fared so poorly after all the money they invested. Well two things. If I had 1/100th of the money we gave you, Rove, I would have been more productive than you. He's all yours boys.

Karl Rove

Wait! Like I said Crossroads ran into some roadblocks.

David Koch

Roadblocks? You call Claire McCaskill a roadblock? An old broken down barricade, yes. But a roadblock?

Karl Rove

Well, it wasn't so much about her, it was about Akin. Who'd'a thought he'd come to be known as Todd "Legitimate Rape End School Lunches Pay Women Less" Akin.

Charles Koch

I call him a freakin' dinosaur poorly masquerading as a human bein'. When you have a grey haired Tea Party-ite saying, "If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down" you need to find someone to replace him. Dubya said you were a political genius. What happened to our money?!

David Koch

What about our good friend and recipient of our largesse the fast talkin' Tommy Thompson? 513,808 Dollars! Your own group spent $497,805! The old folks... 60 Plus, funded by drug and insurance companies, spent $520,800! Genious? We don't think so!

Karl Rove

Tommy... I mean... Tammy Baldwin blocked....

Charles Koch

Yeah, the les... I'm not touchin' that.

David Koch

You mean the gay... You said this one would be a slam dunk, Karl.

Karl Rove

I spent millions bashing ... her. She hates me.

Charles Koch

She loves you Karl. Your ads showed her fighting side to Wisconsinites. She a scrappy and feisty little thing. Isn't she Karl? Yeah. Ya' proved that, didn't ya'?

Karl Rove

I tried to bring out her nasty side...

David Koch

Here's a tweet from her Karl. She says "Thank you".

(Enter Robert Rowling.)

Charles Koch

Ah, here's another of your contributors, Karl. Robert Rowling, the fifth-richest Texan and owner of the Omni Hotels chain, fitness gyms, real estate and dollar stores.

Robert Rowling

Karl! I don't like the rate of return on my investment of five million. It's not the money, Karl, it's loss of the election to Kaine. I watched as Allen gave his concession speech, at my Omni Richmond Hotel. Five million from, Karl. Allen said he was "inspired by the people of Virginia and their unshakeable belief in the promise of the American dream." What about my dream, Karl? Five million. Down the drain.

Karl Rove

We can do this again in two years, Bob.

Robert Rowling

He's right. Dubya said he was the best of the worst political strategists. Come see me next year, Karl. Let him go boys.

(Exit Robert Rowling.)

David Koch

No way in hell am I gonna' let this guy go, Charles. (To Karl.) Josh Mandel in Ohio. What was your problem with him?

Karl Rove

Ya' mean the kid? He looked and acted too much like a little kid. Didn't show well. Even talked like a kid. Couldn't sell him!

David Koch

I don't care what he looks like or sounds like, as long as he doesn't look like... you know who.

Karl Rove

After Mandel was slammed by his wife’s family for his far right position on gays in the military, he started slipping in the polls. So I took my losses and ran.

Charles Koch

One point one million Karl. You dumped him after you spent One point one million?

David Koch

Let's get on with this. What about Mourdock in Indiana

Karl Rove

Where were you when Mourdock stated that life is a gift from God. Even when a life begins with a rape. It is something that God intended to happen. What else can I say.
David Koch

Denny Rehberg in Montana? He even helped you out whenhe broke with the Obama administration by supporting the Keystone XL pipeline, opposed the auto bailout and tried to remove Endangered Species Act protection from gray wolves that Montana ranchers say are preying on livestock.

Karl Rove

The only positive thing I could come up with to help Rehberg was that Obama and Tester dug a hole with the stimulus bill, the 2010 health-care law and a 2011 measure raising the federal debt ceiling. They wanted Montanans to pay the price.

Charles Koch

One billion, Karl. One by one you're going to have to account to all your donors.

Karl Rove

I did the best I could with your millions. Obama suppressed...

David Koch

This isn't about us. It's about you and how you are going to get our money back.

Charles Koch

One billion, Karl. I tell you what we're gonna' do Karl. Come the election of 2014, you're gonna' give us that one free. What'd'ya' say, huh, Karl? A free campaign.

(Lights down.)

END

My plays, posted here and on my website, www.thistle-dew.net, and my blog http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/, are available for production. Without the permission of Thomas M. Kelly, in writing, no performance of his play(s) may be produced, performed or read, before an audience, whether an admission fee is charged or not. A royalty fee must be paid, in advance, for every performance. Royalty fees, for amateur productions, are listed with each play. Professional productions must receive a Professional Royalty Quote from Thomas M. Kelly. seamus.oshea@ymail.com or tddtheatre@aol.com .

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Mark Leibovich on Glitz and Greed in Washington

Bill talks with journalist Mark Leibovich about his latest book, This Town, a city where money rules the day and status is determined by who you know and what they can do for you. “If you can sell yourself as someone who knows how Washington works, someone who has these relationships,” Leibovich explains, “that’s a very marketable commodity. If you’re seen as someone who knows how this town works, someone who is a usual suspect in this town, you can dine out for years — that’s why no one leaves.”

In my humble opinion...

I have enjoyed being informed by Chris Matthews and MSNBC's "Hardball" for many years. He can be very excitable at times and irascible and petulant at others. Little did I realize that he could be an extremist tactician like the many 'extremists' he denounces. These extremists use the "search and destroy" method to totally obliterate someone or entity they oppose on some idealogical level. I was amazed when cruising my usual sources the other morning and Huffington Post being one of them, found this story "Phil Donahue On MSNBC Firing: Chris Matthews Was 'Threatened' By Me (VIDEO). 'Click on the icon above to link the video. I was appalled by Chris's use of the same "search and destroy" as the many "whacko nut jobs" he has denounced. Phil Donahue was a rare anti-war voice during the run-up to the Iraq War, among those voices was our President , then Senator, Barack Obama. Let me know what you think.

Readers and Writers

Thistle Dew Playwrights Workshop.......... Readers needed for Play Readings Saturday mornings at 10:00 If you would like to read new plays or if you have a play or monologue to be read and critiqued by the workshop, email Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com Prepare to bring sufficient copies for each of your characters + one for stage directions reader. Thistle Dew & Super PAC Auditions Saturday mornings at 10:00. We have created informative and highly successful 'blogs' to capture your interest and to tell you what is going on at the "Dew": The Thistle Dew Theatre: http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/ The Thistle Dew Center For Literary Art: Poetry and Narrative Inquiry: http://thistledewcenterforliteraryart.blogspot.com/ Social and Political Comment "Word on the Street": http://wordstreetsmarts.blogspot.com/ Super PAC: Political Action Comedy: http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/ Playwright Opportunities: http://californiaplaywrightstheirplays.blogspot.com/ The (almost) Complete Play Works of Thomas M. Kelly: http://thomasmkellyswork.blogspot.com/ NEW! Thistle Dew Theatre Playwright Workshop http://thistledewtheatreplaywrightgroup.blogspot.com/ "Click" on them and "voila", "ta-da" and "presto" there we are. If you have any problems give us a call 1-916-457-6286. Thanks, Tom and Ellie

Playwrights! You are invited to participate in creating....

SUPER

Political Action Comedy:

"SUPER PAC"

Please submit a ten minute play for this series:

Commenting on the politics of our times.

Topics: Political issues of the day from anywhere in the world.

Characters:

WHAMor: (v. o.) Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™.

Political figures of the day must be depicted as Wobble Heads.

Wobble Head Rules and restrictions: Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, back and forth, and turn in place by wobbling.

Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves. The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides with the exception of Wobble Head Clint Eastwood, (see "What's with the chair, Mr. Eastwood?" in older posts here.)

Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.

Set:

Black box. A storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.

Rules and regulations for submission and engagement:

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .
There is no fee for script submission and no compensation to the playwright for the use of a script submitted.
All rights will remain with the playwright.
The play must have been written by the person making the submission.
A play that has had a production is acceptable.
A play that has been published is not acceptable.
The submission should be sent by email, with the play itself as a file attached to the email, in Microsoft Word (.doc) or Apple (.pages) and (.pdf).
The script can be no longer than 10 minutes.
The title page must include script info and playwright info (your name), contact info (your email address).
The script should be in "Super PAC" format (see blog script).
Plays that are longer than ten (10) minutes will be rejected immediately.
Plays can be from anybody, anywhere in the world, but must be predominantly in English (a few non-English words and/or phrases are acceptable, however translations must be noted immediately).
The SUPER Political Action Comedy, "SUPER PAC" selection decision is final and "SUPER PAC" reserves the right to select no plays from those submitted.
The selected play will be posted on the blog as soon as "SUPER PAC" has made it's decision.
The play must reflect today's political, national or global environment (liberal, moderate or conservative) in humorous, comedic, satirical, sarcastic manner, using pastiche, mockery, burlesque, caricature, lampoon, et cetera, to expose the truth.
The play should be a complete ten (10) minute play, not an excerpt from a longer work.
Do not send your bio, résumé and list of theater achievements. "Super PAC" just wants the script in it's initial phase. If your script is selected, "Super PAC" will ask for your bio, résumé and list of theater credits.
Submission to "SUPER PAC" constitutes your permission to be posted on SUPER PAC: SUPER Political Action Comedy blog (http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .

Playwrights

If you would like to be a part of "Super PAC: Political Action Comedy" as a contributor or participant on this page or on the Thistle Dew Theatre Stage, please submit your ten to fifteen minute play to Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com . Requirements for every applicant. Find your own media headline or create your own one page (in play format) scenario such as Harry Reid vs. Mitch McConnel (the toad) or Hillary vs. Rush Limbaugh or Eric Cantor vs. Barack Obama in a situation found in the Washington Post, Mother Jones or Politico et cetera. Hope to hear from you soon.

Call for Submissions

The Unique

Thistle Dew

Dessert Theatre

and the members of

Sacramento's Original Playwright's Workshop:

1901 P Street, Sacramento, CA

Call for submissions:

Monologues & Poetry

for our "Poems, Pie and Prose Program".

We invite you to join the fun every Saturday morning at 10:00.

Because workshopping a play is not an easy process, we need your expertise and your many talented voices to create and organize

Writer's Workshop for

Playwrights, Poets, & Novelists.

Our Workshop is often defined by what it is not: It does not require script memorization, props, costumes, or sets. All of what it is "not" makes our workshop a wonderful experience for the actors/readers and especially the audience. Space and time can be shrunk or stretched, fantastic worlds can be created, marvelous journeys can be enacted. The Thistle Dew Playwright's Workshop provides a laboratory setting for writers, actors and audiences to explore the limits of the creative expression, presentation and interpretation of a unique art form: playwriting. Our Workshop frees the performers and the audience from the physical limitations of conventional theater, letting the imagination soar. By one definition our workshop is a discussion group. By another, it is a factory. According to most lexicons it is a process by which a dramatic or comedic play is read, and by means of improvisation and intensive group discussion, aspects of the production, are explored

before formal rehearsals and final staging begin. To accomplish this we need seasoned actors, voice over specialists and readers to read, critique and present our plays, poems, novels, et cetera. We have many dialogues requiring different voices, accents, et cetera.

We may even convince you that you can write a monologue or a poem!

Even a three minute play!

You could be a part of a fun group. Come, enjoy the magic of Theater in the making!

916-457-6286, or tddtheatre@aol.com

Thank you!

From Tom and the members of the

Thistle Dew Playwrights' Workshop

See you at the Thistle Dew Theatre, 1901 P Street, Downtown Sacramento,

Saturday morning at ten o'clock!

Check out the Thistle Dew Theatre Blog

http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/

SUPER Political Action Comedy

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Sunday, November 11, 2012

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