SUPER Political Action Comedy

Friday, November 2, 2012

PAC III: "ET TU, Beebee"

September, 2012

SUPER
Political Action Comedy

"SUPER PAC"

A series of ten + minute plays
by Thomas M. Kelly & Seamus O'Shea.

Comments on the politics of the times:

Before and after the 2012 Elections in theatrical format.

Characters:

WHAMor: Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan(where ever Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan wobble they wobble backward or side to side weaving and bobbing), Bill Clinton, Beebee Netanyahu, Bella Abzug, JFK, FDR, LBJ, HST, Sir Winston, Teddy Roosevelt, Sarah Palin, Hilary Clinton, Harry Reid, Dickie Cheeeney, Joe Biden, Karl Rove, Anne Romney, Claire McCaskill, Clint Eastwood, Todd Akin. Gabriel Gomez, John Soltz, Rudy Giuliani, Stephanie Cutter, John Bolton, Reince Priebus, Jim DeMint, Bill Kristol, Donald Rumsfeld, John Huntsman, Liz Cheeeney, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. (Any such as the establishment so chooses.)
Premise:
Wobble Head Rules:
Wobble Heads have labels "Made in China" on their backside.
Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, and turn in place by wobbling.
Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves. The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides.
Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.
Set:
On a storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.
No more than five actors on stage at one time. All other Wobble Heads do not speak unless spoken to.

(Wobble Heads® on stage: Mitt Romney and Beebee Netanyahu)

(Same set. A bell rings and the storeroom lights go up revealing two new Wobble Heads® on the shelf.)

Mitt Romney (Pleading.)

Et tu, Beebee?

Beebee Netanyahu

Don't call me Beebee. Only my friends call me Beebee.

Mitt Romney

But I thought we were ...friends, Beebee.

Beebee Netanyahu

It's Bin-ya-meen. Bin-ya-meen Netanyahu, to you.

Mitt Romney

Bin-ya-meen? But I expected...

Beebee Netanyahu

What the hell did you expect!? My blessing!?

Mitt Romney

I expected you to have my back!

Beebee Netanyahu

Your back!? You expected me to have your back!? You weren't in London two days and you managed to insult the second most influential power in the free world. An ally and friend of Israel. "Disconcerting"!? What the hell were you thinking!?

Mitt Romney

Everything I say is taken out of context and inaccurate by the liberals and the liberal media.

Beebee Netanyahu

Like Cameron's comment: It's "easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere." Inaccurate?

Mitt Romney

"Nowhere"? Meaning Salt Lake?

Beebee Netanyahu

Cameron is the leader of the Conservative Party.

Mitt Romney

He's Conservative?

Beebee Netanyahu

Johnson, the Mayor of London, is a conservative journalist.

Mitt Romney

He's a conservative ... journalist?

Beebee Netanyahu

He's the Editor in Chief of The Spectator magazine. What the hell were you thinking?

Mitt Romney

Editor? In chief?

Beebee Netanyahu

Anglo-Saxon heritage? What's that all about? I'll bet if you looked deep enough you'd find a jew in your heritage.

Mitt Romney

I really don't think... . Don't get me wrong! That wouldn't be bad. I have nothing against Jews! I'm Anglo-Sax...

Beebee Netanyahu

The real topper is that you outed the head of the MI6,. Massad would have a field day with you. You'd never again see the light of day!

Mitt Romney (Pleading.)

Beeeebeeee.... er, Bin-ya-meen... we were business partners!

Beebee Netanyahu

That was before you came to Israel to instigate and offend the Palestinians with a racist statement that didn't help peace negotiations You contradicted the positions held by the Obama administration?

Mitt Romney

Do you mean your on friendly terms with ... Obama?!

Beebee Netanyahu

After your so-called foreign... tour... I'm reconsidering my position. Backing the wrong horse would hurt me.

Mitt Romney (Interrupting.)

The wrong horse? Obama is fond of lecturing Israel's leaders. You and Israel deserve better. Especially you, Beeeee-beeeee?!

Beebee Netanyahu

It's Bin...ya...meen. Bin-ya-meen Netanyahu, thank you.

Mitt Romney

Boston!? Forty years of friendship?! Business consulting? Beeee-beeee?!

Beebee Netanyahu

Must I remind you again? It's Bin-ya-meen. One more time and I will insist you address me as Mr. Netanyahu.

Mitt Romney

How is my statement that the Jewish state's economic success and cultural superiority was due to the hand of providence.

Beebee Netanyahu (Whispers loudly.)

Shhh Shhh. You gave my entire plan away with your uncontrolled mouth. Palestinians get their freedom when we say and not until then.

Mitt Romney

I'll have to speak to my advisors....

Beebee Netanyahu

You scheduled a on Sunday ... during Tisha B'Av, a Jewish day of mourning and fasting. Have you no respect for the dead, Mitt?

Mitt Romney

No. One: they don't vote (Aside.) Unless they are dead Democrats. (Return.) and two: they aren't shareholders.

Beebee Netanyahu

Oh! My! Gaud!

Mitt Romney

It was a scheduling error... fixed very easily by... .

Beebee Netanyahu

Yes, I know, by my good friend Sheldon Adelson. He called me. He owns Yisrael Hayom, our conservative(!) newspaper, and a staunch supporter of me and my government.

Mitt Romney

I heard that his newspaper is a danger to democracy. Isn't that just marvelous!?

Beebee Netanyahu

Believe me, Mitt, with his money, he is a danger to any government he can buy.

Mitt Romney

Mmmmm, yes. Newt was right.

Beebee Netanyahu

Then you and your circus travel to Poland and one of your aides loses...

Mitt Romney (Interrupting.)

... Yes, I know "Kiss my ... you know what... or was it "Shove it." (Ignorantly.) Did you think that was offensive?

Beebee Netanyahu

You need to control your people. But then it appears they don't have control of you. Is anybody in your organization in control?

Mitt Romney (Pleading.)

Beeee bee! Don't you remember Boston and the work we did together? Doesn't our friendship mean anything, Beeee beeeee?

Beebee Netanyahu

Mitt, we were in business together, not in bed together. Your foreign diplomacy skills, your social skills, your walking skills, et cetera leave a great deal to be desired.

Mitt Romney

Walking skills? What...? I took etiquette and posture training from Mademoiselle Gigot while I was on my proselytizing mission in France.

Beebee Netanyahu

When you were hiding from the draft!? Stay off live tv, radio and the internet. Your tongue gets in front of your eye tooth and you can't see what you're saying.

Mitt Romney

But I have a campaign to run.

Beebee Netanyahu

Why!? Barack Obama is running your campaign! Your are his best weapon against you! You've screwed yourself!

Mitt Romney

So that's what Clint meant! I can't do that to myself. That's impossible.

Beebee Netanyahu

It's daily,... hourly.. with you.

Are you sadomasochist!?

Mitt Romney

Sado...maso...

Beebee Netanyahu

Sadomasochist. Are you a person who... you know... gets off on self-satisfaction... you know what I'm saying ...!?

Mitt Romney

Do you mean... self... flagu...?

Beebee Netanyahu

What I mean is did you masturbate as a kid!?

Mitt Romney

I'm Mormon. We don't... uh... We don't... I didn't do ...that's a terrible... sinful thing.

Beebee Netanyahu

Are you still attracted to Ann? Is she still a caring sexual partner?

Mitt Romney

Beeeee-beeeee!

Beebee Netanyahu

It's Bin-ya-meen. Bin-ya-meen Netanyahu, to you.

Mitt Romney

Bin-ya-meen!?

Beebee Netanyahu

You never know about these things, Mitt. Obviously she didn't fake it.

Mitt Romney

Are you implying I ...? I faked an... Beeee-beeee!? We had five boys together!

Beebee Netanyahu

OK! OK! OK! Were you ever... uh ... physically, psychologically, or sexually abused.

Mitt Romney (Interrupting. Over-speaking.)

No?! What makes you think ...!? No! No! Don't answer that! We're finished here!

Beebee Netanyahu

Wait! Wait, Mitt! Just one more question. Did you ever throw Ann under the proverbial bus?

Mitt Romney

You gotta' be kidding me! I would never do that!

Beebee Netanyahu

I'm just saying, Mitt. There was that time in Boston. You were running for governor. You asked her to send Planned Parenthood a hundred and fifty bucks just to get the female vote. A hundred and fifty, Mitt? That was pretty damn cheap.

Mitt Romney

Well, yeah, ... that time (Smiling.) but it worked, didn't it? And later I apologized ... firmly.

Beebee Netanyahu

Yes. I'd like to know how that went.

Mitt Romney

What do you mean by that? I did it again today! The democrats discovered a tape of a speech I made in Boca Raton about the 47% behind Obama. I sent her out to take some of the heat off me. You know ... it's all about me!

Beebee Netanyahu

I'm just saying, Mitt. Well, I'm off to meet with my old friend and ally, Barack Obama.

Mitt Romney (Tearful pleading.)

Beeeee-beeeee!

Beebee Netanyahu

Bin-ya-meen!

(Lights down.)

END

The plays, posted here, are available for production. You may present these plays royalty free, but only with permission of Thomas M. Kelly, in writing. No performance of his or Seamus O'Shea's plays without first notifying Thomas M. Kelly or Seamus O'Shea. The play(s) may be produced, performed or read, before an audience, whether an admission fee is charged or not in a community theatre setting. The above is with the exception of professional theatres: Professional productions must receive a Professional Royalty Quote from Thomas M. Kelly at tddtheatre@aol.com OR Seamus O'Shea at seamus.oshea@ymail.com .

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Mark Leibovich on Glitz and Greed in Washington

Bill talks with journalist Mark Leibovich about his latest book, This Town, a city where money rules the day and status is determined by who you know and what they can do for you. “If you can sell yourself as someone who knows how Washington works, someone who has these relationships,” Leibovich explains, “that’s a very marketable commodity. If you’re seen as someone who knows how this town works, someone who is a usual suspect in this town, you can dine out for years — that’s why no one leaves.”

In my humble opinion...

I have enjoyed being informed by Chris Matthews and MSNBC's "Hardball" for many years. He can be very excitable at times and irascible and petulant at others. Little did I realize that he could be an extremist tactician like the many 'extremists' he denounces. These extremists use the "search and destroy" method to totally obliterate someone or entity they oppose on some idealogical level. I was amazed when cruising my usual sources the other morning and Huffington Post being one of them, found this story "Phil Donahue On MSNBC Firing: Chris Matthews Was 'Threatened' By Me (VIDEO). 'Click on the icon above to link the video. I was appalled by Chris's use of the same "search and destroy" as the many "whacko nut jobs" he has denounced. Phil Donahue was a rare anti-war voice during the run-up to the Iraq War, among those voices was our President , then Senator, Barack Obama. Let me know what you think.

Readers and Writers

Thistle Dew Playwrights Workshop.......... Readers needed for Play Readings Saturday mornings at 10:00 If you would like to read new plays or if you have a play or monologue to be read and critiqued by the workshop, email Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com Prepare to bring sufficient copies for each of your characters + one for stage directions reader. Thistle Dew & Super PAC Auditions Saturday mornings at 10:00. We have created informative and highly successful 'blogs' to capture your interest and to tell you what is going on at the "Dew": The Thistle Dew Theatre: http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/ The Thistle Dew Center For Literary Art: Poetry and Narrative Inquiry: http://thistledewcenterforliteraryart.blogspot.com/ Social and Political Comment "Word on the Street": http://wordstreetsmarts.blogspot.com/ Super PAC: Political Action Comedy: http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/ Playwright Opportunities: http://californiaplaywrightstheirplays.blogspot.com/ The (almost) Complete Play Works of Thomas M. Kelly: http://thomasmkellyswork.blogspot.com/ NEW! Thistle Dew Theatre Playwright Workshop http://thistledewtheatreplaywrightgroup.blogspot.com/ "Click" on them and "voila", "ta-da" and "presto" there we are. If you have any problems give us a call 1-916-457-6286. Thanks, Tom and Ellie

Playwrights! You are invited to participate in creating....

SUPER

Political Action Comedy:

"SUPER PAC"

Please submit a ten minute play for this series:

Commenting on the politics of our times.

Topics: Political issues of the day from anywhere in the world.

Characters:

WHAMor: (v. o.) Wobble Head Assemblage & Marketing Creator and Lord of the world of Political Wobble Heads®™.

Political figures of the day must be depicted as Wobble Heads.

Wobble Head Rules and restrictions: Wobble Heads do not walk, they wobble side to side, back and forth, and turn in place by wobbling.

Only the head on all models of the Wobble Head moves. The arms and legs are rigidly placed by their sides with the exception of Wobble Head Clint Eastwood, (see "What's with the chair, Mr. Eastwood?" in older posts here.)

Wobble Heads are created by The Wobble Head Assemblage and Marketing, "WHAM" or "WHAMor" for short and staff of Wobble Head makers.

Set:

Black box. A storage shelf labeled "Wobble Heads: Old and New" in the Wobble Head Warehouse Outlet.

Rules and regulations for submission and engagement:

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .
There is no fee for script submission and no compensation to the playwright for the use of a script submitted.
All rights will remain with the playwright.
The play must have been written by the person making the submission.
A play that has had a production is acceptable.
A play that has been published is not acceptable.
The submission should be sent by email, with the play itself as a file attached to the email, in Microsoft Word (.doc) or Apple (.pages) and (.pdf).
The script can be no longer than 10 minutes.
The title page must include script info and playwright info (your name), contact info (your email address).
The script should be in "Super PAC" format (see blog script).
Plays that are longer than ten (10) minutes will be rejected immediately.
Plays can be from anybody, anywhere in the world, but must be predominantly in English (a few non-English words and/or phrases are acceptable, however translations must be noted immediately).
The SUPER Political Action Comedy, "SUPER PAC" selection decision is final and "SUPER PAC" reserves the right to select no plays from those submitted.
The selected play will be posted on the blog as soon as "SUPER PAC" has made it's decision.
The play must reflect today's political, national or global environment (liberal, moderate or conservative) in humorous, comedic, satirical, sarcastic manner, using pastiche, mockery, burlesque, caricature, lampoon, et cetera, to expose the truth.
The play should be a complete ten (10) minute play, not an excerpt from a longer work.
Do not send your bio, résumé and list of theater achievements. "Super PAC" just wants the script in it's initial phase. If your script is selected, "Super PAC" will ask for your bio, résumé and list of theater credits.
Submission to "SUPER PAC" constitutes your permission to be posted on SUPER PAC: SUPER Political Action Comedy blog (http://superpoliticalactioncomedy.blogspot.com/

Send only one ten (10) minute play per playwright to tddtheatre@aol.com .

Playwrights

If you would like to be a part of "Super PAC: Political Action Comedy" as a contributor or participant on this page or on the Thistle Dew Theatre Stage, please submit your ten to fifteen minute play to Tom at tddtheatre@aol.com . Requirements for every applicant. Find your own media headline or create your own one page (in play format) scenario such as Harry Reid vs. Mitch McConnel (the toad) or Hillary vs. Rush Limbaugh or Eric Cantor vs. Barack Obama in a situation found in the Washington Post, Mother Jones or Politico et cetera. Hope to hear from you soon.

Call for Submissions

The Unique

Thistle Dew

Dessert Theatre

and the members of

Sacramento's Original Playwright's Workshop:

1901 P Street, Sacramento, CA

Call for submissions:

Monologues & Poetry

for our "Poems, Pie and Prose Program".

We invite you to join the fun every Saturday morning at 10:00.

Because workshopping a play is not an easy process, we need your expertise and your many talented voices to create and organize

Writer's Workshop for

Playwrights, Poets, & Novelists.

Our Workshop is often defined by what it is not: It does not require script memorization, props, costumes, or sets. All of what it is "not" makes our workshop a wonderful experience for the actors/readers and especially the audience. Space and time can be shrunk or stretched, fantastic worlds can be created, marvelous journeys can be enacted. The Thistle Dew Playwright's Workshop provides a laboratory setting for writers, actors and audiences to explore the limits of the creative expression, presentation and interpretation of a unique art form: playwriting. Our Workshop frees the performers and the audience from the physical limitations of conventional theater, letting the imagination soar. By one definition our workshop is a discussion group. By another, it is a factory. According to most lexicons it is a process by which a dramatic or comedic play is read, and by means of improvisation and intensive group discussion, aspects of the production, are explored

before formal rehearsals and final staging begin. To accomplish this we need seasoned actors, voice over specialists and readers to read, critique and present our plays, poems, novels, et cetera. We have many dialogues requiring different voices, accents, et cetera.

We may even convince you that you can write a monologue or a poem!

Even a three minute play!

You could be a part of a fun group. Come, enjoy the magic of Theater in the making!

916-457-6286, or tddtheatre@aol.com

Thank you!

From Tom and the members of the

Thistle Dew Playwrights' Workshop

See you at the Thistle Dew Theatre, 1901 P Street, Downtown Sacramento,

Saturday morning at ten o'clock!

Check out the Thistle Dew Theatre Blog

http://thistledewtheatre.blogspot.com/

SUPER Political Action Comedy

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Friday, November 2, 2012

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